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By Smaktakula

Smooth Move, Ex-Lax. Your Mère Must Be Very Proud.

Bloated French nonentity Gèrard Depardieu attempted to make a splash Tuesday morning in what appears to be a copycat urination attack.  The sweaty Euro-pérvert, inexplicably famous for something somewhere, apparently mistook an airplane aisle for a Paris sidewalk, and began to urinate indiscriminately.

Depardieu, Who Often Displays His Cock In Public, Is Seen Here Choking His Chicken.

Depardieu’s boorish behavior marks the second airplane-related act of urination in the past several days.  It has been speculated that the blobbish thespian, who has repeatedly expressed fears that the French are ceding their status as World’s Rudest People to America, was trying to one-up US pissing sensation Robert “Sandy” Vietze.

When You Look At Depardieu's Previous indiscretions, This One Seems Tiny And Insignificant.

If so, this was a mistake says Dr. Emil Haagerdäddi, director of the Harvard Urine Fellowship.  “As with so many things,” Haagerdäddi says, “America did it first and did it better,” explaining that the portly Frenchman couldn’t hope to execute a difficult public urination with the same grace as Vietze, who is both much younger and a trained athlete.

We Hope That In The Future, Depardieu Will Avail Himself Of A More Proper Toilet.