actors, Americans, childish sexual innuendo, choking the chicken, cock, creepy old perverts, douchebaggery, Emil Haagerdäddi, Frenchman, Gèrard Depardieu, golden showers, has-beens, Paris, Paris is a sewer, places that suck, public urination, Robert "Sandy" Vietze, Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French, the French, United States of America, urination, World's Rudest People, your mother must be very proud
Bloated French nonentity Gèrard Depardieu attempted to make a splash Tuesday morning in what appears to be a copycat urination attack. The sweaty Euro-pérvert, inexplicably famous for something somewhere, apparently mistook an airplane aisle for a Paris sidewalk, and began to urinate indiscriminately.
Depardieu’s boorish behavior marks the second airplane-related act of urination in the past several days. It has been speculated that the blobbish thespian, who has repeatedly expressed fears that the French are ceding their status as World’s Rudest People to America, was trying to one-up US pissing sensation Robert “Sandy” Vietze.
If so, this was a mistake says Dr. Emil Haagerdäddi, director of the Harvard Urine Fellowship. “As with so many things,” Haagerdäddi says, “America did it first and did it better,” explaining that the portly Frenchman couldn’t hope to execute a difficult public urination with the same grace as Vietze, who is both much younger and a trained athlete.