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Tag Archives: Paris

Prophet’s Stint As Guest-Editor Of Humor Magazine Surprisingly Unfunny

30 Wednesday Nov 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Crime, Culture, News, Politics, Religion

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Allah, bunched panties, censorship, Charlie Hebdo, Christians, France, Islam, Jews, Muhammad, muslims, no sense of humor, Paris, religious intolerance, Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French, the French

By Smaktakula

Arrogant, You Knew. Dirty, You Knew. But Bravely Committed To The Ideals Of Free Speech?

It sounded like a great idea: invite Islam’s premier prophet to guest edit a French humor magazine.  The editors of French Satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo had long sought to entice the Prophet Mohammed to bring his singular wit and warm sense of humor to their magazine.  Charlie Hebdo’s editors were ecstatic when Mohammed agreed to a guest editorship, but what no one could have expected was that things would quickly turn deadly.

What's Everybody Getting So Upset About? It Looks Like A Penis In A Chef's Cap. . .Oh, God--Please Don't Kill Us.

Although impossible to foresee, the Prophet’s selection proved controversial.  Charlie Hebdo’s editors expressed surprise at the outrage, claiming that Mohammed’s selection was to celebrate the victory in Tunisia by an Islamist party during the so-called ‘Arab Spring.’  Further, in a move the magazine staff was sure would delight Muslims worldwide, they decided to honor the Prophet on their cover, depicting him in cartoon saying, ‘100 lashes if you’re not dying of laughter.’

This Disturbing Image Is Insensitive To Muslims! Not That It Matters, But We Suppose It's Also Offensive To Satanic Crusaders And Filthy Jews.

Surprisingly, the Islamic community was not entirely amused.  Although known for being an easy-going and tolerant religion, some Islamists reacted to the Prophet’s guest-editor stint with uncharacteristic rage.  Charlie Hebdo received a number of threats on various social networking sites, but no one took seriously the notion that an adherent of Islam would commit violence in the name of Allah.

If You Want To Mock Christian Figures--Including Their God, Knock Yourself Out--The Worst You Need Fear Is A Stern Talking-To.

Amazingly, that’s just what happened.  Charlie Hebdo‘s Paris offices were destroyed by a petrol bomb.  Even now, weeks later, a stunned world is still trying to make sense of this.  Some so-called ‘experts’ have opined that the violence was the work of radical Muslims, who are sometimes known to be touchy about depictions of the Prophet.  Promethean Times disagrees.  Whoever the vandals are, they’re more likely to be angry Christians or Jews.  If there’s one thing we know about Muslims, it’s that they can take a joke.

"I Don't Get It."

Depardieu’s ‘Euro-Nation’ Stunt Deemed Derivative And Unoriginal

18 Thursday Aug 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity, Cinema, Crime, Culture, News, Stupidity

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Tags

actors, Americans, childish sexual innuendo, choking the chicken, cock, creepy old perverts, douchebaggery, Emil Haagerdäddi, Frenchman, Gèrard Depardieu, golden showers, has-beens, Paris, Paris is a sewer, places that suck, public urination, Robert "Sandy" Vietze, Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French, the French, United States of America, urination, World's Rudest People, your mother must be very proud

By Smaktakula

Smooth Move, Ex-Lax. Your Mère Must Be Very Proud.

Bloated French nonentity Gèrard Depardieu attempted to make a splash Tuesday morning in what appears to be a copycat urination attack.  The sweaty Euro-pérvert, inexplicably famous for something somewhere, apparently mistook an airplane aisle for a Paris sidewalk, and began to urinate indiscriminately.

Depardieu, Who Often Displays His Cock In Public, Is Seen Here Choking His Chicken.

Depardieu’s boorish behavior marks the second airplane-related act of urination in the past several days.  It has been speculated that the blobbish thespian, who has repeatedly expressed fears that the French are ceding their status as World’s Rudest People to America, was trying to one-up US pissing sensation Robert “Sandy” Vietze.

When You Look At Depardieu's Previous indiscretions, This One Seems Tiny And Insignificant.

If so, this was a mistake says Dr. Emil Haagerdäddi, director of the Harvard Urine Fellowship.  “As with so many things,” Haagerdäddi says, “America did it first and did it better,” explaining that the portly Frenchman couldn’t hope to execute a difficult public urination with the same grace as Vietze, who is both much younger and a trained athlete.

We Hope That In The Future, Depardieu Will Avail Himself Of A More Proper Toilet.

This Day In History: July 14, 1789 CE

14 Wednesday Jul 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Crime, Culture, Europe, General Foolishness, History, Human Rights, Justice, Military, Mythology, People, Politics, World Affairs

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

1789, Bastille Day, France, French Revolution, Frogs, Jerry Lewis, July 14th, Louis Capet, Paris, revolutionaries, Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French, snails, Storming of the Bastille, The Terror, this day in history

On which angry French demonstrators storm the Bastille in Paris, serving Louis XVI notice that le Horloge is ticking on his tyrannical reign.

In Fairness, They Thought It Was Full Of Snails And Jerry Lewis DVDs.

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