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By Smaktakula

John Elway Has Relaxed His Training Regimen Since Retiring From Professional Football.

John Goodman’s appearance on the 2011 season of Dancing With the Stars has ruffled some feathers.  The transsexual former actor has joined the cast of DWTS, along with such other dubious talents as David Arquette, Ricki Lake and the mildly-retarded Nancy Grace.  Although Goodman will be dancing with a woman, it appears that his presence on the show is enough to disgust some sensitive viewers.

"I Got You Babe." Goodman's Parents May Have Been Unusual, But They Loved Him Nonetheless.

Most of these viewers are of course repulsed by Goodman’s manatee-like physique, which should impart his dancing with all the grace and beauty of an Oompa-Loompa hoedown.  A smaller portion of fussy shut-ins, however, is concerned with the message the actor’s unconventional lifestyle will give to viewers.  Goodman is simply not physically attractive, and modern television audiences prefer their members of the LGBT Community to be at least moderately good-looking.

"No Fat Chicks."

It would be foolish to count Goodman out just yet.  Despite his corpulence and complete lack of coordination, the former Chastity Bono knows how to navigate the tricky shoals of show business.  The child of singer-songwriter Janice Ian and U2’s Bono is a survivor, and will pull out all the stops to win the competition, including, if events demand it, devouring the other contestants.

Goodman Tried To Live For Years As A Woman.