Bono, Chas Bono, Cher, Dancing With The Stars, don't hate us because we're ignorant, DWTS, Janice Ian, John Elway, John Goodman, LGBT, Neil Patrick Harris, Oompa-Loompas, Sono Bono, the Addams Family, transsexual, Why am I so fat?
John Goodman’s appearance on the 2011 season of Dancing With the Stars has ruffled some feathers. The transsexual former actor has joined the cast of DWTS, along with such other dubious talents as David Arquette, Ricki Lake and the mildly-retarded Nancy Grace. Although Goodman will be dancing with a woman, it appears that his presence on the show is enough to disgust some sensitive viewers.
Most of these viewers are of course repulsed by Goodman’s manatee-like physique, which should impart his dancing with all the grace and beauty of an Oompa-Loompa hoedown. A smaller portion of fussy shut-ins, however, is concerned with the message the actor’s unconventional lifestyle will give to viewers. Goodman is simply not physically attractive, and modern television audiences prefer their members of the LGBT Community to be at least moderately good-looking.
It would be foolish to count Goodman out just yet. Despite his corpulence and complete lack of coordination, the former Chastity Bono knows how to navigate the tricky shoals of show business. The child of singer-songwriter Janice Ian and U2’s Bono is a survivor, and will pull out all the stops to win the competition, including, if events demand it, devouring the other contestants.
autism, B-Lister, celebrity breakups, celebrity/statesman, Chinese food and Chinese people not always the same thing, Dancing With The Stars, has-been, In fairness we should add that Ms. McCarthy is a high school graduate, Jenny McCarthy, Jim Carrey, MILFs, People Magazine, stupid people, untalented stars
MILFy autism activist Jenny McCarthy is growing as a person. After her five-year relationship with tiresome Canadian import Jim Carrey ended, McCarthy found a new love and a new way of looking at life.
By her own admission, McCarthy has spent most of her 37 years as something akin to a mindless automaton, a virtual slave to the whims of others. But now McCarthy is learning the assertiveness which most human beings over the age of three take for granted.
Gushes the talentless pair of boobs to People Magazine:
“If he wants Chinese [food]* and I don’t, I say it,” she says. “If he wants to go out and I want to stay in and watch Dancing with the Stars, I tell him so.
Although McCarthy is not satisfied with her progress, she intends to take it slow. “Roman wasn’t built in a day,” she says. After the hiatus–which she says will be brief–McCarthy intends to do something about her woefully inadequate sixth grade education.
*This helpful clarification was apparently intended to prevent People readers from taking McCarthy’s comment to be an endorsement of Sino-cannibalism. Promethean Times does not support race-based cannibalism of any kind.