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Tag Archives: cultural backwater

Why Does Your County Hate America’s Veterans?

04 Thursday Aug 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Stupidity

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

backwater shithole, blood sports, cultural backwater, Douglas County, Lewis County, lip-service, Oregon, poseur, veterans, Washington State, we honor veterans, you suck so bad Lewis County so so bad

By Smaktakula

If your county didn’t hate veterans, it would find a way to tell the world.  Some, like Oregon’s Douglas County, have found a way to do just that.

For Their Brave Service, The Least We Can Offer Is Lip-Service.

Some US counties are particularly rough on veterans.  Lewis County in Washington State has been known to periodically round up its veterans and force them to fight to the death, gladiator-style.  Blood-sports are a local favorite in that thrice-blighted hellhole, which is populated almost entirely by syphilitic knuckle-draggers.  Or so we’ve heard. ∞T.

Lewis County, Washington

23 Thursday Jun 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Crime, Culture

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

cultural backwater, douchebaggery, haiku, Lewis County, Meriwether Lewis, places that suck, Portland, Seattle, Smaktakula's vendetta against Lewis County, Tacoma, Washington State

By Smaktakula

You Are Here, No Matter How Much You Might Wish Otherwise.

You likely haven’t heard of Lewis County, Washington.  Named for famed explorer and suicide Meriwether Lewis, this quaint, cultural backwater is further from Seattle, Tacoma, Portland or Spokane than mere geography would indicate.

In appreciation of this idyllic patch of greenery, we offer the following haiku, which we call Lewis County: If I Never See You Again It Will Be Too Fucking Soon:

You cousin fuckers,

Inbred eaters of cow flop,

I hate you so much.

Enjoy Sexual Congress With Barnyard Animals? We Have A Place For You, My Friend.

Don’t feel bad for Lewis County.  Lewis County knows what it did. ∞T.

The Darwin Wand

07 Tuesday Jun 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Sport, Stupidity

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

21st Century, Alabama, cultural backwater, Darwin Wand, evolution, forced evolution, NASCAR, natural selection, Talladega, things which don't exist but should, Why am I so stupid?

By Smaktakula

The Darwin Wand, a wondrous magical artifact that allows its wielder to selectively bring a culturally-anachronistic target into the 21st Century, sadly does not exist.

After Receiving A Series Of Darwin Treatments, The Residents Of Talladega, Alabama Enjoy An Evening Of NASCAR.

World’s Youngest Grandmother Has Some Regrets

06 Friday May 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, News, Stupidity

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

child brides, cultural backwater, foolish choices, Gypsies, pederast, pervert, places that suck, regrets, Rifca Stanescu, Romany, statutory rape, they're called Romany 'cause they're always roamin' around, wasted life

By Smaktakula

Lots Of People Throw Away Their Lives As Teenagers; At Least She Did It For Love.

Twenty-three-year-old Rifca Stanescu had mixed emotions regarding the coming of her first grandson.  Of course she was happy for her twelve-year-old daughter on the birth of her child, but couldn’t help wishing that the girl had waited a few years before following Rifca’s example and throwing her life down the toilet.*

National Geographic's Hard-Hitting Profile Of Romany Culture.

Stanescu can take some satisfaction that her daughter will grow up in an age where she is able to  make her own choices, such as the decision to marry her husband at age 10.  Rifca Stanescu didn’t get to make that choice.  When at 11, her family refused the marriage proposal of her future husband’s family, she was kidnapped and raped, which in Romany (the universally beloved folk formerly known as the Gypsies) culture, apparently means you’re married.

Mishka Is Just Thrilled That She Still Fits Into This Old Thing.

*It is not accidental that Smaktakula employs the verb form of ‘throw’ rather than ‘flush.’  In fact, Romania does not yet have flush toilets. ∞T.

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