• Get To Know Promethean Times!
  • Magnificent Bastards
  • Douchebags Emeritus

Promethean Times

~ A Collection of Oddities Calculated to Amuse, Enlighten and Horrify.

Promethean Times

Tag Archives: hypersensitivity

Cougars (Not The Animals) Added To Protected List

23 Monday Jan 2012

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, News, Stupidity

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Corner Canyon High School, cougars, Draper, Fighting Poets, Fighting Taints, horses, hypersensitivity, Kumonaywannalayus, mascots, Political Correctness, Redskins, Sarah Jessica Parker, Sea-Monkeys, teabaggers, Utah, Washington State University, Whittier College

By Smaktakula

Can We All Agree That Some Mascots Are Totally Fucking Gay?

No one will seriously argue that Utah is a fun place to be for any extended period–it’s hard to find a drink when you want one, there’s no access to medical marijuana,  and worst of all, everybody smiles all the time.  Moreover, the majority of the state is a blighted, lifeless desert, and the only body of water worth a damn is so choked with salt that only Sea-Monkeys thrive in the briny morass.  But despite its many, many faults, Utah is rightly regarded as a sensitive place, a reputation reinforced by a recent high school mascot naming fracas.

What About A Mascot Everyone Can Get Behind?

The students at Corner Canyon High School in Draper, Utah were given the honor of determining their school mascot through a student-wide vote.  Knowing the disgusting nature of children, the school board was prepared for some unusual–perhaps even filthy–mascot suggestions: the Fighting Taints, the Teabaggers or the Kumonaywannalayus.

WSU: We Were Sexist Before It Was Cool To Be Sexist.

However, the students’ choice, the Cougars, caught even the most jaded school administrator off guard.  Although the majority of Corner Canyon students and their parents were unaware of it, and despite the nickname’s ubiquity among school mascots,  ‘cougar’ is a highly offensive term to some people.  Cougars, primarily known as large, North American felines, are increasingly coming to represent middle-aged women who are attracted to younger men, rendering the term decidedly inappropriate for use as a school mascot.  The school board wisely overturned the students’ decision, selecting instead a war-horse, a mascot which could prove hurtful to no one.

"That's Off-EHHHHHHHHHHHN-Sive!"

Skating On Thin Skin

05 Thursday Jan 2012

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Sport

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Europeans, Florida Panthers, hockey, hypersensitivity, Jamaica, Krys Barch, Montreal Canadiens, mullets, NHL, P. K. Subban, racial slurs, racism, sticks and stones

By Smaktakula

It's One Thing To Stick A Guy In The Crotch, But Talking Badly About His Mother Is Out Of Line.

Although it’s easy to forget about it, hockey has comprised a tiny piece of the American fabric for many years, although specifically how many we’re not sure.  Despite that it isn’t very fun to watch, and like soccer, is mostly played by mulleted European dudes (in which category we include Canadians) with last names badly in need of an extra vowel or two, no one argues that hockey isn’t a tough sport.  The fights, sharpened blades and indiscriminate sticking ensures that if not an eye or a few teeth, someone’s at least going to lose a couple pints of blood.  And so it’s been for years: hockey is dangerous, and the people love it.

But an insidious new trend threatens to blight the wholesome free-for-all violence of hockey–unkind words.  Now, not only must players contend with the physical dangers of their sport, but also be on guard for rising threats to their very delicate feelings.  Sadly, as of this writing, no protective equipment exists to adequately shield a player’s self-esteem.  This became apparent to hockey fans last week when Florida Panthers forward Krys Barch blithely skated over another player’s sense of self-worth.

Because Hearing Unpleasant Things Is Just Like Taking A Punch To The Face.

While most players would be content with an illegal check or a stick to the crotch, Barch blatantly disregarded the safety of all present when he–apparently–uttered an unidentified racial slur.  Although the details remain murky, Barch allegedly hurled the epithet at Montreal’s P. K. Subban, whose parents hail from Jamaica, at the end of the first period en route to the Panthers’ 3-2 victory over Montreal.  Subban himself did not hear the unidentified slur (or possibly, insinuated slur, which is just as bad), but an unnamed official did, and removed Barch from the game immediately.  Subban is said to be making a speedy recovery after the vicious attack.

The NHL has yet to determine Barch’s fate, although the Panthers have kept the hockey hate-monger off the ice since the horrifying racial incident.  The time away from hockey should give Barch some much-needed time to think about his behavior and the hate that lies behind it.  A stick to the face hurts, but a careless stick to the soul can leave a wound too deep to heal.

If The World Were Run Like Your First-Grade Classroom, No One Would Ever Have Hurt Feelings Again.

Coffee: Once You Go Black

28 Monday Nov 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Cinema, Culture

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

...you never go back, airplane, artificial sweeteners, coffee, coffee culture, contrived indignation, herbal tea, hypersensitivity, in poor taste, like my men, offensive humor

By Smaktakula

Black As Midnight And Sweet As The Devil.

Today, the following clip from the classic movie Airplane! would be considered too offensive for modern theater audiences.  A generation ago, before taking offense became a national trait, major motion pictures were replete with such examples of inappropriate humor.  Extremely sensitive viewers may wish to skip the clip altogether.

What is damning about this clip, of course, is the young lady’s rather shocking contempt for artificial sweeteners, and her emphatically expressed preference for unadulterated coffee.  Younger readers might be surprised by prejudice, not old enough to remember the days when artificial sweeteners were looked upon not just as something unusual added to coffee, but an as affront against God Almighty Himself.

Smaktakula Takes It The Same Way: Strong, Black & Bitter.

Thankfully, today we live in a world where an individual can drink his coffee however he pleases, free from the judgements of small-minded individuals.  Modern coffee culture is an accepting and all-inclusive one, with coffee aficionados united not only by a love of the hot, bitter beverage, but also by a hatred of the homos who drink herbal teas.

Quick--Somebody Say Something Before It Gets Awkward.

Sensitivity Levels Slowly Returning To Normal After Japanese Nuclear Disaster

13 Friday May 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, History, News

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

atomic bomb, be sensitive or else, cosplay, earthquake, Enola Gay, fallout, Fukushima Nuclear Power Plant, Gilbert Gottfried, Godzilla, hypersensitivity, Japan, Japanese Nuclear Crisis, Land of the Rising Sun, nuclear disaster, safe to joke about, tsunami

By Smaktakula

The Biggest Danger Of Joking About A Nuclear Disaster Is The Potential Fallout.

At long last a damaged world is beginning to heal and learn to laugh again.  On March 11, a massive earthquake off Japan’s west coast set in motion a calamitous chain of events which would prove among the worst disasters (natural or otherwise) to befall humanity in its long and inglorious history.  The devastation caused by the quake was horrific enough, but the resultant tsunami added to the death toll and caused a critical equipment failure and subsequent release of radioactive material at the Fukushima Nuclear Power Plant.  Thousands of people died in the tragedy, and many more remain missing.   More still face unknown peril from the radiation leak. For the Japanese, and for anyone who has been affected by this epic tragedy, the pain continues.

In The Last Century, The Japanese Have Weathered innumerable Natural Disasters, Two Nukes And Dozens Of Giant Irradiated Monsters--They Can Take A Joke.

But for the rest of the world, it’s getting better.  As radiation levels around the stricken nuclear power plant begin to drop, so too does the level of sensitivity with which observers must approach this disaster.  In certain regions, the Japanese disaster is becoming safe for jokes.

Life In Japan Is Slowly Returning To Normal. However, Invariably, Mutations Will Occur.

Potential jokers are cautioned that jokes about this recent tragedy will remain in poor taste for some time, and as such may receive a bad reaction even in so-called ‘safe’ regions.  However, unless you’re working for Nintendo, Sony or another Japanese outfit, you’re no longer likely to be fired for telling one.

Timing Is Everyth--"AFLAC!"

The Japanese people, unable to list ‘well-developed sense of humor’ among their many national accomplishments, will most likely never see anything remotely funny about this catastrophe.  Still, if any people have proven their resilience in surviving not one, but two previous nuclear disasters, it’s those hardy folk in the Land of the Rising Sun.

Today's Horoscope: A Little Boy Will Bring A Big Surprise.

OC Republicans Take Racism To New Low

18 Monday Apr 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in News, Politics, Stupidity

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Barack Obama, California, double standards, George W. Bush, GOP, hypersensitivity, hypocrisy, imaginary racism, Klansmen, opossums, Orange County, racism, Republican Party, Republicans, Sarah Palin, sexism

By Smaktakula

OC Republicans Enjoying Their Semi-Annual Retreat At Dana Point.

Just when America thinks it has a handle on its deep-seated racism, something comes along to stir the flames.  Marilyn Davenport, a member of the Orange County Republican Committee, recently circulated an email with a picture of President Obama’s face superimposed on an ape’s body.

Although Davenport ridiculously claims not to have considered the President’s race when sending out this bigoted email, most commentators were able to see through her diaphanous veil of chicanery.  To call this ugly attack on the President–and all African-Americans–anything other than racism is to deny reality.

Although the Republicans will no doubt attempt to throw Davenport under the bus by stripping her of her position, it’s highly probable that many share Davenport’s pernicious views.  Although many Republicans voted for Obama in 2008, making the United States the first Western nation to elect a black man as Chief Executive, it’s likely they voted this way so that they could finally take their hate to a national level.

This Is The Kind Of Sexist Filth That--Oh Wait--Is That Sarah Palin? Funny Stuff!

Here’s a simple primer, with several acceptable images and one which is offensive:

This Is Not Racist.

Nor This.

Still Not Racist.

Cool.

This Is Fine.

george bush monkey

This One Is Also Okay.

Completely Free Of Racial Animus.

Acceptable.

Obama monkey

This Is Simply Vile. We Are So Sorry You Had To See This.

On a related note:
Car Seat In Asia - Creative Car Seat That Was Passed Down From Kid To Kid

Is It Ever Okay To Compare A Person Or Group Of People To A Family Of Opossums? No, Not For Any Particular Reason--We Were Just Wondering.

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

The Best Of Times

  • The Red Danube
  • Belgians: The World's Most Evil People
  • People Actually Believe That? Ramtha And The Lizard-Beasts Of Mt. Rainier
  • Mark Wahlberg Is Nothing Without The Funky Bunch. Nothing!
  • Mullets Are Slightly Less Heinous Than Fauxhawks

Dumb Stuff We Say On Twitter:

  • Teachable Moments prometheantimes.com/2015/10/15/tea… http://t.co/QFzhCOBHaO 6 years ago
  • The Garden-Destroying Cross-Lot Food Fight prometheantimes.com/2015/10/01/the… http://t.co/lY6IVUWzYV 6 years ago
  • My Beef With That One Guy From ‘Fast Times At Ridgemont High’ prometheantimes.com/2015/09/23/my-… http://t.co/izgO4yJppn 6 years ago
  • Shelly The Parasitic Yoko of Pervert Alley prometheantimes.com/2015/08/17/she… http://t.co/0svsAHygLs 6 years ago
  • Welcome To Pervert Alley prometheantimes.com/2015/07/31/wel… http://t.co/tvFvovXjTX 6 years ago
Follow @prometheantimes

Recent Times

  • Teachable Moments
  • The Garden-Destroying Cross-Lot Food Fight
  • My Beef With That One Guy From ‘Fast Times At Ridgemont High’
  • Shelly The Parasitic Yoko of Pervert Alley
  • Welcome To Pervert Alley
  • A Profoundly Philosophical Question
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part III
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part II
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part I
  • Headlines: In Which No Puppies Were Harmed Or Abducted
  • Profiles in Loutishness
  • Bet Your Bottom Dollar That Tomorrow
  • Mea Culpa: 55 Cent
  • Goat Mayo
  • Headlines: More News We Don’t Understand
  • The Aging Gunslinger
  • Hungarian Fone Kard
  • Fresh Socks For Homeless Walter
  • I’m An Ass, And I’m Sorry
  • Headlines: I Was A Caveman’s Love-Puppet
  • Untruth & Consequences: Debriefing
  • To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before
  • My Missing Medal
  • Promethean Times Questions Existence Of Sri Lanka
  • Headlines: Shaking And Stirred

WORD.

Adolf Hitler Afghanistan Africa anti-semitism bad parents Barack Obama Baseball bigotry Bill Clinton California Canada cannabis Celebrity Death Watch childish sexual innuendo China cocaine comical despots dope douchebaggery drugs famous for nothing fat people foolish choices fun with stereotypes gay people Germany gold digger grass headlines helpful hints hemp homosexuality hypocrisy impoverished third-world hellhole Iran Islam jackassery Japan Kim Jong-il LiLo Lindsay Lohan Los Angeles Dodgers marijuana Mexico Muammar al-Gaddafi mullets muslims North Korea outright lies places that suck pot racism reefer religious intolerance skankery skanks Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French Smaktakula's distrust of short people Smaktakula's hypocrisy can sometimes be astounding stupid people sweet sweet cheeba Tardsie's True-Ass Tales that trick never works the French this day in history treachery true meanings of holidays United Kingdom United States of America untalented stars weed Where Are They Now? Why am I so fat? Why am I so stupid? you got a real purty mouth

Promethean History

July 2022
M T W T F S S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Oct    

Search The Prometheosphere

Recent Comments

Vivek Golikeri on Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong…
Tim on People Actually Believe That?…
Anonymous on Commercials We Do Not Like: Me…
Dudley on Diff’rent Strokes Curse…
Anonymous on Commercials We Do Not Like: Me…
tomsimard on Sadly, Anne Heche Still L…
Smaktakula on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
David on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
Rackuzius on Brilliant, Dirty Weirdo Said T…
Smaktakula on Teachable Moments
Yoshihiko Motaro on Teachable Moments
Anonymous on Words Never To Use: N****…
Alex C on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
Usman Makhdoom on Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong…
Lary James on Untruth & Consequences: Do…

Tardsie D. Bagg

Smaktakula

Networked Blogs

NetworkedBlogs
Blog:
Promethean Times
Topics:
Satire, Irreverence, Snarkery
 
Follow my blog

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • Promethean Times
    • Join 509 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Promethean Times
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar