Tag Archives: Land of the Rising Sun

Sensitivity Levels Slowly Returning To Normal After Japanese Nuclear Disaster

13 Friday May 2011

Posted by in Culture, History, News

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By Smaktakula

The Biggest Danger Of Joking About A Nuclear Disaster Is The Potential Fallout.

At long last a damaged world is beginning to heal and learn to laugh again.  On March 11, a massive earthquake off Japan’s west coast set in motion a calamitous chain of events which would prove among the worst disasters (natural or otherwise) to befall humanity in its long and inglorious history.  The devastation caused by the quake was horrific enough, but the resultant tsunami added to the death toll and caused a critical equipment failure and subsequent release of radioactive material at the Fukushima Nuclear Power Plant.  Thousands of people died in the tragedy, and many more remain missing.   More still face unknown peril from the radiation leak. For the Japanese, and for anyone who has been affected by this epic tragedy, the pain continues.

In The Last Century, The Japanese Have Weathered innumerable Natural Disasters, Two Nukes And Dozens Of Giant Irradiated Monsters--They Can Take A Joke.

But for the rest of the world, it’s getting better.  As radiation levels around the stricken nuclear power plant begin to drop, so too does the level of sensitivity with which observers must approach this disaster.  In certain regions, the Japanese disaster is becoming safe for jokes.

Life In Japan Is Slowly Returning To Normal. However, Invariably, Mutations Will Occur.

Potential jokers are cautioned that jokes about this recent tragedy will remain in poor taste for some time, and as such may receive a bad reaction even in so-called ‘safe’ regions.  However, unless you’re working for Nintendo, Sony or another Japanese outfit, you’re no longer likely to be fired for telling one.

Timing Is Everyth--"AFLAC!"

The Japanese people, unable to list ‘well-developed sense of humor’ among their many national accomplishments, will most likely never see anything remotely funny about this catastrophe.  Still, if any people have proven their resilience in surviving not one, but two previous nuclear disasters, it’s those hardy folk in the Land of the Rising Sun.

Today's Horoscope: A Little Boy Will Bring A Big Surprise.

Paris Hilton Ja-Banned

23 Thursday Sep 2010

Posted by in Celebrity, Crime, Culture, Stupidity

≈ 4 Comments

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By Smaktakula

Japan can now include itself among the growing list of nations officially discriminating against skanks.  The Land of the Rising Sun has gone dark for strumpets: Paris Hilton is persona non grata in Japan.

In Much The Same Way As It Did Throughout Asia 75 Years Ago, This Symbol Strikes Fear In The Hearts Of Skanks Across The Globe.

Representatives of Japan’s immigration service claim that Hilton’s ban is a result of her recent guilty plea to cocaine possession in Las Vegas.  These officials are quick to point out that their decision to impose a Ja-Ban on Hilton was not only appropriate, but required by Japanese law.

However, pro-skank activists (skanktivists) contend that the law is a smokescreen which allows Japan legal sanction to carry out its anti-skank agenda.

“We’re trying to tell the world what’s going on in Japan,” says ‘Cody,’ a skonk who declined to give his real name, “The amount of ignorance on the part of the public is really disturbing.  We’re educating people, but at the same time putting pressure on Japan to not only turn away from its growing culture of skankism, but also calling on the Japanese Government to free Tibet.”

Paris, What The Hell Are You Doing? Oh. Ha Ha, No. When We Said 'Blow' We Meant Cocaine. Heh. But Thanks. No, Really--We're Good.

An immigration official was asked in light of Hilton’s Ja-Ban, whether her family’s hotel chain would also be forced out of the country.  The official replied:

“A question both so ridiculous and inane shames not only the speaker, but also those unfortunate enough to hear it.  Having said that, the Hilton Chain is a small, but important part of the Japanese economy–over three million people spend the night in Hilton Hotels every year.  Even in a good year Ms. Hilton might service only half that many.”

Paris, an innocent pawn in a game much bigger than herself, was typically upbeat when informed that she would not be allowed into Japan: “I’m going back home, and I look forward to coming back to Japan in the future,” she said.

Like Fuck You Will, Gaijin Skank!