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Tag Archives: safe to joke about

Punching-Bag Faiths Make Bid For ‘Real Religion’ Status

07 Thursday Jun 2012

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Politics, Religion

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

alcoholism, bigotry, bravery, Catholicism, Christians, double standards, Germany, holiness church, Holocaust, hypocrisy, Jehovah's Witnesses, Jews, LDS, Methodists, Mormons, muslims, NAMBLA, pacifism, Quakers, religious intolerance, religious persecution, safe to joke about, snake handlers, weirdos

Originally Posted 01.03.12

By Smaktakula

Man, It Is So Refreshing Not Have To Make Up Some Excuse About His Politics, And Instead Simply Be Able To Say, “I’m Not Gonna Vote For This Guy ‘Cause I Hate His Crazy Religion.”

It’s no secret that joking about religion can be a dicey prospect. While it may occasionally still be safe to joke about baby-buggering bishops outside the earshot of any nearby papists (which means refraining from comment in bars, bingo parlors or AA meetings), kicking the Catholics is increasingly frowned upon in polite society. The Jews, for centuries the go-to faith for angry scapegoaters, have in the last half-century begun to push back with vehemence against all insults real and imagined. Even Islam, long-acknowledged as the most easy-going among all the Great Faiths, has begun to take a firmer hand with those who besmirch its many anachronistically inflexible tenets. It seems like nobody wants to be poked fun at any more, and doing so can cost you your job–or worse.

If Physical Intimidation Is Your Thing, Why Not Pick On The Quakers, Jehovah’s Witnesses Or Amish?–They’re Pacifists–Although They’re Tougher Than They Look.

That’s why we’re so lucky in America to have weirdo religions like the Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, snake-handlers and the like. When feeling down, who hasn’t picked himself up by joking that the Mormon guy at work “probably has like eight wives?” And almost everyone has personally experienced the joy of bonding with a stranger over a simple conversation about how fucking annoying it is to have somebody come to your door once or twice a year to tell you that God loves you.

“Would You PLEASE Stop Saying That? It’s Offensive.”

But even these small comforts may soon be a memory. Kicking bizarre religions could become a quaint relic of yesteryear if these fundamentalist wackos get their way, and pretty soon we may have to start treating these fringe-dwellers like real faiths–with respect. Ridiculous!  We would rather see our daughters forced into a life of prostitution than to compromise our principles by treating a snake handler as if he were the spiritual equal of a Methodist or a Muslim. Not only is snake handling illegal in most civilized states, but its disturbing tenets fall completely outside the boundaries of what Promethean Times deems acceptable for a ‘normal’ religion.

We Call Bullshit. They’re Happy AND They Enjoy Spending Time With Their Families? Just What The Fuck Is Wrong With These People?

While we believe that, without exception, tolerance should be extended to every person on Earth regardless of his or her wacky beliefs, we can’t stand Mormons because of their extreme and hateful view of homosexuality–they strongly disapprove of it. Perhaps if we outlawed their ridiculous religion they’d understand how important it is to tolerate people with differing beliefs, even those considered offensive.

Sure, We All Know That Church On Saturday Is Weird And Wrong. But If You Want To Avoid Real Trouble, Make Sure The Line Of People At Which You’re Throwing Eggs Is Coming Out Of A Kingdom Hall.

What can we say about the Jehovah’s Witnesses that we haven’t said before?  The really irritating thing about the Jehovah’s Witnesses is that when they’re mocked and the faith they hold so dear is distorted by a bunch of sneering half-truths, they retaliate by taking the time to write a nice note with a polite point-by-point response to the issues upon which there is disagreement. Some call it ‘turning the other cheek,’ but we call it fighting dirty.

Plus, They’re Cowards. When Most Other Able-Bodied German Men Were Doing Their Part To Enslave The Remaining Free Peoples Of Europe, The Jehovah’s Witnesses Decided They’d Rather Stay Home And Camp.

Although the American public still enjoys the right to publicly belittle these various zealots without fear of social opprobrium, the winds are changing. Soon, we may be forced to place these factions on par with those groups which have a legitimate history of persecution, like NAMBLA, the North American Man-Boy Love Association. Until then, we ask that other people of legitimate faiths to join us in fervently wishing that a few more of those freaks get bit by their own deadly serpents.

Serves You Right For Being Such A Weirdo.

In America, we treat all beliefs with equal respect.  You can get behind that or you can get the fuck out. ∞T.

Sensitivity Levels Slowly Returning To Normal After Japanese Nuclear Disaster

13 Friday May 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, History, News

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

atomic bomb, be sensitive or else, cosplay, earthquake, Enola Gay, fallout, Fukushima Nuclear Power Plant, Gilbert Gottfried, Godzilla, hypersensitivity, Japan, Japanese Nuclear Crisis, Land of the Rising Sun, nuclear disaster, safe to joke about, tsunami

By Smaktakula

The Biggest Danger Of Joking About A Nuclear Disaster Is The Potential Fallout.

At long last a damaged world is beginning to heal and learn to laugh again.  On March 11, a massive earthquake off Japan’s west coast set in motion a calamitous chain of events which would prove among the worst disasters (natural or otherwise) to befall humanity in its long and inglorious history.  The devastation caused by the quake was horrific enough, but the resultant tsunami added to the death toll and caused a critical equipment failure and subsequent release of radioactive material at the Fukushima Nuclear Power Plant.  Thousands of people died in the tragedy, and many more remain missing.   More still face unknown peril from the radiation leak. For the Japanese, and for anyone who has been affected by this epic tragedy, the pain continues.

In The Last Century, The Japanese Have Weathered innumerable Natural Disasters, Two Nukes And Dozens Of Giant Irradiated Monsters--They Can Take A Joke.

But for the rest of the world, it’s getting better.  As radiation levels around the stricken nuclear power plant begin to drop, so too does the level of sensitivity with which observers must approach this disaster.  In certain regions, the Japanese disaster is becoming safe for jokes.

Life In Japan Is Slowly Returning To Normal. However, Invariably, Mutations Will Occur.

Potential jokers are cautioned that jokes about this recent tragedy will remain in poor taste for some time, and as such may receive a bad reaction even in so-called ‘safe’ regions.  However, unless you’re working for Nintendo, Sony or another Japanese outfit, you’re no longer likely to be fired for telling one.

Timing Is Everyth--"AFLAC!"

The Japanese people, unable to list ‘well-developed sense of humor’ among their many national accomplishments, will most likely never see anything remotely funny about this catastrophe.  Still, if any people have proven their resilience in surviving not one, but two previous nuclear disasters, it’s those hardy folk in the Land of the Rising Sun.

Today's Horoscope: A Little Boy Will Bring A Big Surprise.

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