bad parents, Batman, Ben Affleck, censorship, critical thought, cryptids, El Chupacabra, Fox news, Franz Ferdinand, Mexican goat-sucker, MSNBC, short people, shortness as proof of God's wrath, these things we believe, unremitting virginity
If you find yourself in agreement with your political party more than 90% of the time, we believe that your unwillingness to engage in critical thought should preclude you from talking about politics except with similarly myopic partisans. If we need your opinion, we’ll get it from Fox News or MSNBC.
We don’t think a dude should marry a gal just because he gets her pregnant. However, we believe that decorum dictates he subsequently refrain from knocking anyone else up or marrying them for a period of not less than twelve months.
If your stars are aligned so perfectly that your biggest complaint is the casting of Ben Affleck as Batman, then we believe yours is truly a charmed existence.
My 5-year-old boys like the song Evil Eye by Franz Ferdinand. The other day we were watching a televised performance of the song when one of my boys asked me why the sound went out briefly. I explained that there was an adult word in the song, “shit,” and that the boys shouldn’t use it. They had listened to the song dozens of times, but hadn’t heard the word until it was bleeped. The purity police didn’t bleep the word “bastard,” so my kids still don’t know THAT’s in there.
We believe that censors too often bring attention to that which they seek to hide.
We believe that short people should be treated with kindness. After what God did to them, it’s really the least you can do.