Tags
famous for nothing, herpes, Jersey Shore, Nicole Polizzi, Oompa-Loompas, skanks, Snooki, unlike your 15 minutes of fame herpes lasts forever, untalented stars, Valtrex, what IS the singular of Cheetos?, white trash
By Smaktakula
Snooki's Not Wearing Leather; That's Her Skin.
Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi’s time in the spotlight must soon come to an end. Her fifteen minutes of infamy draws inevitably to a close, as the public’s short attention span casts an obscuring shadow over the stars of yesteryear, even those–among whom Snooki cannot count herself–with actual talent. However unlikely it may seem now, this braying product of a messy one-night-stand between a Cheeto and an Oompa-Loompa will one day go away.
This is our simple tribute to her.
***
This Is What It Looks Like When A Beach Ball Dresses Up Like Slash For Halloween.
If You Like Mixed Drinks, Why Not Try A Whining Orgasm Or Herpes On The Beach?
Sure, It Comes With A Price, But Sucking Off Every Jon Bon Jovi Impersonator In The Tri-State Area Is A Labor Of Love.
Plus, She Can't Take A Punch.
"HURRRRRRRR!"
Oompa Loompa doompadee doo
We’ve got a funny question for you
Oompa Loompa doompadah duss
If you are wise you’ll listen to us
What do you get from being on TV?
A miserly check and a credit or three
Why don’t you try simply curtailing the sex?
Or do you just adore Valtrex?
You’ll get no
You’ll get no
You’ll get no
You’ll get no
You’ll get no breakouts
Oompa Loompa Doompadee Dah
Since you are greedy you will go far
You will never find happiness
Like the Oompa Loompa give a rat’s ass
Promethean Times 
1 – I don’t know who this is….
2 – I followed the links, and still don’t know who this is…
3 – I’m glad I don’t know who this is…
4 – This is STILL funny…
5 – I’m glad I don’t eat Cheetos….
1, 2, 3 – you have no idea how lucky you really are!
You really don’t? Wow. Good for you–Snooki is a cultural carcinoma. This is one of those rare examples where ignorance actually makes you smarter.
Snookie is living proof you can become famous by shoving enough crap in your vagina. I’m glad she used her 15 minutes of fame to help lower the standards of humanity for everyone!
That’s very true. I use her to bolster my own-self esteem. In those frequent times when I think I’m a vulgar, worthless ass who contributes nothing to society, I reflect upon Snooki and realize it’s all relative.
I sincerely wish her luck in the rest of her life, and I really hope the next time I refer to her, way down the line, is along the lines of “Oh, what did she die of?”
Was she pushed or did she jump?
Interesting question. I thought it might be something vomit related. I wonder if they’ll identify whose vomit it was…
I should worry, ugly ex-girlfriends can become famous…..
Tell me about it–all mine end up on “16 & Pregnant.”
Oops, it appears I did see this post. My Gravatar Head is there to prove it. But I don’t think it influenced my own use of an Oompa Loompa song yesterday, as I didn’t remember this entry. If it did, then that just might be too frightening to consider. PT using mind-control. Scary.