• Get To Know Promethean Times!
  • Magnificent Bastards
  • Douchebags Emeritus

Promethean Times

~ A Collection of Oddities Calculated to Amuse, Enlighten and Horrify.

Promethean Times

Daily Archives: September 17, 2010

Drug Lord Comes To Regret Ridiculous Nickname

17 Friday Sep 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity, Crime, Culture

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Arturo Beltran Leyva, Crime, crimelord, drug cartel, drug trafficking, drugs, Edgar Valdez Villarreal, El Chupacabra, El Coyote Negro, La Barbie, Menudo Caliente, Mexican drug cartel, Mexican jail, Mexican Navy, Mexico, smuggling, you got a real purty mouth

By Smaktakula

American-born criminal Edgar Valdez Villarreal rose quickly through the ranks of the Mexican underworld to become a lieutenant for one of the cartels.  When cartel head Arturo Beltrán Leyva was slaughtered by Navy commandos in December of 2009, the resourceful young thug waged a bloody war against various other cartel factions in an effort to seize control of the operation.  His bid came to an end in August of 2010 when he was captured by Mexican authorities.       

Now the reputed criminal is seeking extradition to his native United States, fearing for his safety in Mexico.  This is no doubt warranted.  Mexican jails are infamous for their deplorable conditions and the innumerable degradations inmates must endure.  How much worse must it be for a pretty boy called La Barbie?       

"El Coyote Negro? El Chupacabra? Menudo Caliente? Man, I Really Should Have Put More Thought Into My Nickname."

Come On Barbie, Let’s Go Party!

Boy, Is My Face Red!

17 Friday Sep 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Crime, News, Stupidity

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

acid attack, attention-seeking behavior, Bethany Storro, dishonesty, liars, mysterious African-American assailant, race baiting, regrets, self-inflicted wounds, self-loathing, stupid criminals, stupid people, stupidity, Vancouver, Washington State

By Smaktakula

Basket case Bethany Storro came to the public’s attention last week when she claimed to be the victim of a shocking assault.  The 28-year old Vancouver, Wa. resident said that a mysterious assailant threw acid in her face.   

Authorities initially believed Storro, since she did not claim her assailant was the “mysterious black man” of so many fake assaults.  She threw a curveball to police when she suggested that her attacker was a mysterious black woman!   

Despite Her Injuries, Storro Attempts To Lead A Normal Life.

Storro’s clever, race-baiting mendacity notwithstanding, the police eventually grew suspicious.  After repeated questioning, the woman admitted that she had doused acid on her own face, necessitating surgery.   

A police representative said that all things considered, Storro was actually very fortunate.  “For Bethany to have survived for twenty-eight years now is really something special, especially given what a complete and utter moron she is. ”  

Splashing Yourself In The Face With Acid As A Ploy For Attention May Seem Like A Good Idea, But In Many Instances It Is Not.

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

The Best Of Times

  • Belgians: The World's Most Evil People
  • People Actually Believe That? Ramtha And The Lizard-Beasts Of Mt. Rainier
  • The Pros And Cons Of Your Girlfriend's Gay Friend
  • Snowboarder's Empire Could Go Up In Smoke
  • Incest: On The Other Hand...
  • This Day In Alternate History: Yoko Ono Slain
  • The Silent Reckoning
  • Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong Champion Of Tolerance

Dumb Stuff We Say On Twitter:

  • Teachable Moments prometheantimes.com/2015/10/15/tea… http://t.co/QFzhCOBHaO 7 years ago
  • The Garden-Destroying Cross-Lot Food Fight prometheantimes.com/2015/10/01/the… http://t.co/lY6IVUWzYV 7 years ago
  • My Beef With That One Guy From ‘Fast Times At Ridgemont High’ prometheantimes.com/2015/09/23/my-… http://t.co/izgO4yJppn 7 years ago
  • Shelly The Parasitic Yoko of Pervert Alley prometheantimes.com/2015/08/17/she… http://t.co/0svsAHygLs 7 years ago
  • Welcome To Pervert Alley prometheantimes.com/2015/07/31/wel… http://t.co/tvFvovXjTX 7 years ago
Follow @prometheantimes

Recent Times

  • Teachable Moments
  • The Garden-Destroying Cross-Lot Food Fight
  • My Beef With That One Guy From ‘Fast Times At Ridgemont High’
  • Shelly The Parasitic Yoko of Pervert Alley
  • Welcome To Pervert Alley
  • A Profoundly Philosophical Question
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part III
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part II
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part I
  • Headlines: In Which No Puppies Were Harmed Or Abducted
  • Profiles in Loutishness
  • Bet Your Bottom Dollar That Tomorrow
  • Mea Culpa: 55 Cent
  • Goat Mayo
  • Headlines: More News We Don’t Understand
  • The Aging Gunslinger
  • Hungarian Fone Kard
  • Fresh Socks For Homeless Walter
  • I’m An Ass, And I’m Sorry
  • Headlines: I Was A Caveman’s Love-Puppet
  • Untruth & Consequences: Debriefing
  • To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before
  • My Missing Medal
  • Promethean Times Questions Existence Of Sri Lanka
  • Headlines: Shaking And Stirred

WORD.

Adolf Hitler Afghanistan Africa anti-semitism bad parents Barack Obama Baseball bigotry Bill Clinton California Canada cannabis Celebrity Death Watch childish sexual innuendo China cocaine comical despots dope douchebaggery drugs famous for nothing fat people foolish choices fun with stereotypes gay people Germany gold digger grass headlines helpful hints hemp homosexuality hypocrisy impoverished third-world hellhole Iran Islam jackassery Japan Kim Jong-il LiLo Lindsay Lohan Los Angeles Dodgers marijuana Mexico Muammar al-Gaddafi mullets muslims North Korea outright lies places that suck pot racism reefer religious intolerance skankery skanks Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French Smaktakula's distrust of short people Smaktakula's hypocrisy can sometimes be astounding stupid people sweet sweet cheeba Tardsie's True-Ass Tales that trick never works the French this day in history treachery true meanings of holidays United Kingdom United States of America untalented stars weed Where Are They Now? Why am I so fat? Why am I so stupid? you got a real purty mouth

Promethean History

September 2010
M T W T F S S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug   Oct »

Search The Prometheosphere

Recent Comments

Vivek Golikeri on Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong…
Tim on People Actually Believe That?…
Anonymous on Commercials We Do Not Like: Me…
Dudley on Diff’rent Strokes Curse…
Anonymous on Commercials We Do Not Like: Me…
tomsimard on Sadly, Anne Heche Still L…
Smaktakula on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
David on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
Rackuzius on Brilliant, Dirty Weirdo Said T…
Smaktakula on Teachable Moments
Yoshihiko Motaro on Teachable Moments
Anonymous on Words Never To Use: N****…
Alex C on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
Usman Makhdoom on Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong…
Lary James on Untruth & Consequences: Do…

Tardsie D. Bagg

Smaktakula

Networked Blogs

NetworkedBlogs
Blog:
Promethean Times
Topics:
Satire, Irreverence, Snarkery
 
Follow my blog

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • Promethean Times
    • Join 459 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Promethean Times
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar