Promethean Times continually strives for accuracy in reporting, employing stringent fact-checking procedures which rank among the best in the industry.  Despite these precautions and our best intentions, we are subject to the same human failings as are all journalists, and will inevitably be guilty of occasional small errors.  It remains our policy whenever possible to promptly redress such errors. ∞T.

Tina the Circus Elephant did not die mysteriously last week, as reported in Promethean Times.  The animal carcass found on the side of Route 9 turned out not to be an elephant at all, but rather a horse.  By the time authorities arrived on the scene, several local idiots had gathered with hammers, tire-irons and other household clubs, with which they then proceeded to bludgeon the flyblown mess.

They promised to stop.

“We thought if we hit it long enough, some funny might come out of it.  Our bad.”