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By Smaktakula

Before You Criticize, Take A Good Long Look At Your High School Senior Photo.

It’s a team-up for the ages, a meeting swimming in historical portentousness: Ali & Foreman fighting side-by-side, Shakespeare and Shaw joining forces, a collaboration between Mozart and Bach–the two greatest forces in achingly adolescent boy-band pop have come together to rock your world, Girl.

The Backstreet Boys Want To Remind You How Important It Is For Men Over Thirty-Five To Have Yearly Proctological Exams.

So call the babysitter right now–never mind that it’s a school night.  What was only a schoolgirl’s fantasy in the waning days of the 20th Century has become a reality in the second decade of the 21st.  In the most tantalizing of flavor combinations since peanut butter met chocolate, the fresh young fellows of best-selling boy band the Backstreet Boys have teamed up with teenybopper godfathers, the now-ironically named New Kids on the Block, to form NKOTBSB.  This awesomely anachronistic amalgam is greater than the sum of its parts, calculated to set hormones ablaze for the first time in over a decade.

PT EXCLUSIVE! A Sneak Peak At The Official NKOTBSB Tour Shirts!

The series of sexy initials has already released a single highlighting the boys’ persistent fear of the dark, ‘Don’t Turn Out the Lights.’  NKOTBSB doesn’t plan to stop there–a full-length album is forthcoming, followed by a rockin’ summer tour.

Prefers Hasselhoff To NKOTBSB. But What Does He Know? Hes A Deaf, Crazy, Deceased Kraut.

According to fans, the only thing better than NKOTBSB would be N’SYNKOTB, a combination of the New Kids and the remaining members of former boy-band, N’Sync, some of whose members have actually met success story Justin Timberlake.

Expected To Join The NSYNKOTBSB 2022 Tour, Filling In While Donnie Wahlberg Recovers From Gastric Bypass Surgery.

Don’t Turn Out the Lights:

NKOTB + BSB = Approximately 1,600 pounds of pure, unadulterated AWESOME.