By Smaktakula

Among the best ways to destroy your marriage, giving your wife a sexually transmitted disease has to lie near the top.  When researcher Brian Foy passed on a dose of the Zika virus to his wife, Joy, it seemed quite likely that the biologist had pissed his marriage away.

However, it takes brains to be a scientist, and the wily Foy wasn’t going down without a fight.  Subscribing to the Hitlerian adage that the people will believe a big lie easier than a small one,  Foy decided to turn into the skid and give his wife the whopper of all-time excuses.

Perhaps remembering the urban legend about contracting herpes from a toilet seat, Foy found himself spinning a yarn about acquiring the embarrassing ailment from infected African mosquitos during a trip to Senegal, all the while professing his steadfast fidelity.  Going the extra mile, he convinced a few of his buddies at the Centers for Disease Control to play along with the gag.

Amazingly, Joy bought the whole thing, and the happy couple is once more adrift on a sea of wedded bliss.  Meanwhile, across America, men are struggling mightily to think of an everyday occurrence that might occasion giving their wives a case of the clap.