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Daily Archives: June 21, 2011

World Stunned By Death Of ‘Jackass’ Jackass

21 Tuesday Jun 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity, News, Stupidity

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

death by automobile, foolish choices, Jackass, jackassery, live fast die young, MTV, Philadelphia, poor judgement, Roger Ebert, Ryan Dunn, Why am I so stupid?

By Smaktakula

Live By The Sword . . . There's More, We Think, But That's All We Recall At The Moment.

Ryan Dunn, of Jackass fame, was killed early Monday morning when his Porsche collided with a tree in suburban Philadelphia.  A passenger in Dunn’s vehicle was also killed in the crash, but details on the person’s identity have been slow in coming, presumably because he or she was not a celebrity and therefore suffered a non-newsworthy death.

They Might If They Were Jackasses Themselves.

The 34-year-old star of MTV’s Jackass was best known for ridiculous and dangerous stunts, the kind which are most often accompanied by boldfaced warnings not to try this at home.  Although initial police reports indicate that the actor may have been travelling at excessive speed, those close to the reality star contend that such irresponsible and potentially life-threatening behavior would be completely out of character for Dunn.

How Jeannie Killed Lt. Colonel Nelson’s Career

21 Tuesday Jun 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

1960s, Barbara Eden, Colonel Tony Nelson, gay people, genie, I Dream Of Jeannie, Larry Hagman, missed opportunities, poor judgement, ridiculous genie pants, sexual harassment, sexual hijinks, situation comedies, television shows, US Air Force, US Navy, Why am I so stupid?

By Smaktakula

With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility. In This Case, The Responsibility To Hit That With A Quickness.

Whereas:  Col. Tony Nelson is an unmarried career officer in the United States Air Force,

Whereas:  Col. Nelson is in possession of a genie,

Whereas:  The genie is female,

Whereas:  The genie is hot,

"Jeannie, I Want You . . . To Tell Me Where You Got That Veil. Girlfriend, Now Don't Be Keeping Secrets From Colonel Nelly!"

Whereas: The genie is willing–eager, even–to fulfill the Colonel’s wildest fantasies, including but not limited to endless wealth and power, or sexual escapades undreamed by the most satyric libertine,

Whereas:  Col. Nelson not only fails to capitalize on his own good fortune, but actively discourages the use of the genie’s abilities, thereby eliminating her as a resource for others,

Poor Genie. She Always Falls For The Same Kind Of Guy.

Resolved:  Col. Nelson demonstrates  a staggering lack of judgement and/or heightened levels of homosexuality unsuitable for the 1960’s US Air Force.  Recommend termination, or at the very least expulsion from the USAF.  Genie is to be given to a Naval Officer, who have long and proud histories of objectifying women.

Navy Men Sometimes Fail To Put Their Requests Through Proper Channels.

Anthony 'Tony' Nelson I Dream of Jeannie

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