Bugs Moran, Hallmark Cards, Hallmark Holidays, love, profligate spending, Salman Rushdie, true meanings of holidays, unconditional love, Valentine's Day, Why am I so lonely?
Except for malodorous, house-bound misanthropes, no one wants to be alone. Humans are social creatures who seek comfort in the company of their fellows. Romantic love is particularly cherished, with lonely hearts sinking billions into online matchmaking services in the hopes of bringing at last to an end their soul-crushing isolation. The depths of humanity’s reverence for the emotion are so pronounced that fantastically ridiculous abilities are attributed to love, such as its apparent tendency to make the world go ’round or that ‘love is all you need.’ Love makes us stupid, and we like it.
Valentine’s Day, February 14th, has been set aside to honor this most beloved of emotions. And like love itself, the holiday exerts a dizzying power over the senses, often leading to anxiety, despair and weight-gain. With all this going for it, who doesn’t love Valentine’s Day?
Lots of people, as it turns out. Those untouchables not fortunate enough to be in relationships despise the day, as it is a painful reminder of their empty, joyless lives, into which the light of fulfilment never shines. People in relationships likewise hate the holiday. Is it not enough, they reason, to eat meals, watch television and occasionally copulate with this barely tolerable person, without having to spend oneself broke attempting to bolster their self-esteem? Plenty of people have a beef with Valentine’s Day.
But given that the holiday has not only survived into modern times, but actually thrived, clearly, someone appreciates the annual homage to love. So who does love Valentine’s Day? These guys:
Alex Autin said:
I watched a guy bankrupt himself yesterday in the checkout line at a local supermarket….roses, chocolate, card, balloon, a white teddy bear holding a red heart with the words ‘I Wuv U’ printed on it….97 bucks. As he struggled to come up with the money to pay, pulling out 2 different cards and finally cash, I couldn’t help thinking that unless each one of those items is for a different woman…this guys an idiot.
Too right, Alex. But if all those gifts are for different women, he’s clearly a skonk of the first order.
Alex Autin said:
Ok, I just read your post on Skonks…hilarious but true. The guy at the check out was definitely non-skonk material…..which only leaves one other option….
El Guapo said:
All I bought my was girl a card.
But I think I told her one or two more times than usual that I love her. (probably in the high twenties as opposed to the regular two dozen-ish.) (God, I’m a sap…)
Perhaps they should call you ‘El Softie?’
We didn’t do a thing. Just another day.