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By Smaktakula

How Could This Godawful Thing NOT Want To Seek Shelter Deep Within The Moist, Dark Environs Of Your Grey Matter?

Despite being one of God’s fuglier creations, the earwig is relatively harmless. Nonetheless, because it is such a nasty critter, it has earned a horrifying (but sadly apocryphal) reputation as an ear-seeking parasite which gnaws deep into soft, pink brain tissue to birth its numberless and hungry young. The victim, his brain resembling a wedge of well-aged Emmental, quickly loses even the barest trace of culture or refinement, finding himself enthralled by the latest Tom Clancy thriller and drawn like a moth a flame to retard-cinema flicks like Dumb & Dumber.

It Makes As Much Sense As Anything Else.

Some songs are like that, too. If even one of these classic tunes follows you into the workweek, we’ll know we’ve done our job.

Enjoy!

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And lastly, this musical abortion:

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Hey, you’re welcome, folks!

And since San Francisco was largely rebuilt following the cataclysmic 1906 earthquake, long before the Jefferson Airplane could devolve into the odious Starship!, we find their claims to have participated in the city’s construction to be, at best, dubious. ∞ T.
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