• Get To Know Promethean Times!
  • Magnificent Bastards
  • Douchebags Emeritus

Promethean Times

~ A Collection of Oddities Calculated to Amuse, Enlighten and Horrify.

Promethean Times

Tag Archives: Religion

Sacred Cow Flop

29 Sunday Jul 2012

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Religion

≈ 19 Comments

Tags

Christianity, freedom of speech, fun with stereotypes, Hinduism, ignorance--it's what we do, Islam, Judaism, Religion, sacred cows, sacred texts, shut your mouth!, take a fucking joke

By Smaktakula

If God Cares So Much What We Say, Why Did He Waste Time With The Bible, The Talmud and The Koran, Instead Of Just Writing A Dictionary?

We all know it can be pretty hard to offend a zealot. The world’s great religions have shown time and time again that they can take a joke, and value speech and open expression far more than they cling to fundamentalist dogma.

But just for fun, and today being Sunday, we thought it might be neat to try insulting no less than three of these unflappable faiths in a single, admittedly compound, sentence:

“I’m just like Jesus (except not, you know…so Jewy), and I think women should be allowed to vote!”

At This Point You Can Expect To Be Beheaded, Have Your Immortal Soul Consigned To Hell, Or Be Sued Like You’ve Never Been Sued Before.

And because you guys are such a great audience, we’re throwing in a bonus faith-offending sentence!

“Now let’s all get a burger!”

Mmmmm… Genealogy Never Tasted So Good!

“You Think This Is Over? This Isn’t Over! We’re Gonna Start By Suing Your Cable Company, And Then We’re Gonna Sue Your Computer Manufacturer. And Then? Oh Yeah, Buddy–Then We’re Gonna Sue You ‘Till You Can’t See Straight. Have A Nice Day.”

Pray for us, friends. ∞ T.

Thou Shalt Have No Other Dead Beatle Before Me

04 Wednesday Jan 2012

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity, Culture, Entertainment, Music, Religion, Stupidity

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Beatles, Cee Lo Green, censorship, dogma, heresy, John Lennon, NBC, New Year's Eve, New York City, Religion, sacred texts, shut your mouth!, the Word of God, Yoko Ono

By Smaktakula

"Tell Me Who's That Writin' / John The Revelator / Tell Me Who's That Writin' / John The Revelator / Who's That Writin' / John The Revelator Wrote The Book Of The Seven Seals"

If he had to do it again, musician Cee Lo Green most likely wouldn’t have ushered in 2012 with a blasphemous appearance on national television.  He did, however, and just a few days later a reeling public is still hurt and confused.

It remains unclear just why the singer insulted the faith of millions with his callous comments, but unless he can somehow manage to right his rapidly sinking ship, Green’s actions may have seriously damaged his career.  With the exception of the lunatic fringe, the music-buying public tends to avoid those artists associated with hate.

"He Got Hair Down Below His Knees / Hold You In His Armchair / You Can Feel His Disease"

Here’s what happened:  Green was scheduled to perform John Lennon’s Imagine before an audience of millions on NBC’s New Year’s Eve broadcast from Times Square.  But Green, apparently ignorant of the sacrosanctity of Lennon’s lyrics, changed the words of this immortal song.  While Lennon originally sang “nothing to kill or die for/ and no religion too,” Green sang, “Nothing to kill or die for/ and all religion’s true.”

This is highly offensive to Lennon’s fans, who despise the dogma and rigidity of organized religion, and have loudly lambasted Green for his insensitivity.   Lennonists contend that the Word of John must remain inviolable if it is to act as a bulwark against the crippling conformity and monomania of organized religion.

"Well You Know / We All Want To Change Your Head / You Tell Me It's The Institution / Well You Know / You Better Free Your Mind Instead"

And in someone so wise and strong / a desire for Yoko is hard to see / there won’t come an answer / let it be. ∞ T.

Things With Religious Sounding Names Are Cool

26 Wednesday Jan 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Religion, Science

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Biblical names, insects, JAMC, Jerusalem Cricket, Jesus and Mary Chain, Jesus Jones, Jesus Lizard, Jesus of Nazareth, Judas Iscariot, Judas Tree, Religion, sea of Galilee, the redemptive powers of the JAMC, things with religious names, treachery, walking on water

By Smaktakula

Observe:

The Judas Tree: The World's Most Treacherous Flora.

The Jesus And Mary Chain Has Saved Smaktakula's Soul On More Than One Occasion.

The Jerusalem Cricket: Our Favorite Insect.

The Jesus Lizard Is So Freaking Cool That It Walks On Water. However, If You Kill It, It Stays Dead.

It doesn’t always work:

Jesus Jones: Not So Much.

A Godless Religion

19 Friday Feb 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Religion, Science, Uncategorized

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

athiesm, athiestic fanatacism, Religion, religious fanatacism

 By Smaktakula

What is it about some atheists wanting so badly to debunk religion?  Refusing to believe in a higher power is fine, but I don’t understand the urge to pry other people from their faith.  If something makes people happy and helps them order their personal universe, what business is it of anyone else, even if the foundation of those beliefs are fallacy? 

Almost everyone has had that stomach-lurching experience of being trapped on a plane or in a three-day work conference with someone who, three seconds into the conversation, brings up the name of their diety, and then continues to do so while the listener squirms and frantically searches for a conversation-changer that never comes.  Not many people relish that conversation.  These fanatics, far from being the walking advertisement for their faith they no doubt believe themselves to be, turn away at least as many listeners as they attract.  Militant atheists are like this as well.  Like religious fanatics, these atheists know how best you should live your life, and what you should believe.  Religious and atheistic fanaticism share a trait common with most (if not all) forms of fanaticism, the castigation of those who hold heretical beliefs.

When someone is accosted by a religious fanatic, it can be unpleasant an unwanted.  Consider, however, that the fanatic, no matter how bizarre his or her beliefs, is in most cases, acting with what in other circumstances might be considered noble motives.  This person believes that the information he or she is sharing will save a life.  Does this justify an unwanted testimonial?  It does not.  I’m not sure it even mitigates it. 

Still, the point is worth considering, when you consider what benefit an atheist thinks he or she is imparting when debunking religious beliefs.  The atheist will tell you that he or she is freeing the deluded individual from the shackles of superstition and introducing him to the world of reason.  This idea is not entirely without merit.  However, as is true in so many cases, if the religious individual is happy with his or her faith and not actively doing harm to anyone else, attempting to undermine the foundation of this faith is cruel and unnecessary.  In this way, proselytizing atheists are like a sad little kid who’s found out that there really isn’t a Santa Claus and can’t wait to ruin the fun for everybody else.

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

The Best Of Times

  • Belgians: The World's Most Evil People
  • Incest: On The Other Hand...

Dumb Stuff We Say On Twitter:

Tweets by prometheantimes

Recent Times

  • Teachable Moments
  • The Garden-Destroying Cross-Lot Food Fight
  • My Beef With That One Guy From ‘Fast Times At Ridgemont High’
  • Shelly The Parasitic Yoko of Pervert Alley
  • Welcome To Pervert Alley
  • A Profoundly Philosophical Question
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part III
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part II
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part I
  • Headlines: In Which No Puppies Were Harmed Or Abducted
  • Profiles in Loutishness
  • Bet Your Bottom Dollar That Tomorrow
  • Mea Culpa: 55 Cent
  • Goat Mayo
  • Headlines: More News We Don’t Understand
  • The Aging Gunslinger
  • Hungarian Fone Kard
  • Fresh Socks For Homeless Walter
  • I’m An Ass, And I’m Sorry
  • Headlines: I Was A Caveman’s Love-Puppet
  • Untruth & Consequences: Debriefing
  • To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before
  • My Missing Medal
  • Promethean Times Questions Existence Of Sri Lanka
  • Headlines: Shaking And Stirred

WORD.

Adolf Hitler Afghanistan Africa anti-semitism bad parents Barack Obama Baseball bigotry Bill Clinton California Canada cannabis Celebrity Death Watch childish sexual innuendo China cocaine comical despots dope douchebaggery drugs famous for nothing fat people foolish choices fun with stereotypes gay people Germany gold digger grass headlines helpful hints hemp homosexuality hypocrisy impoverished third-world hellhole Iran Islam jackassery Japan Kim Jong-il LiLo Lindsay Lohan Los Angeles Dodgers marijuana Mexico Muammar al-Gaddafi mullets muslims North Korea outright lies places that suck pot racism reefer religious intolerance skankery skanks Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French Smaktakula's distrust of short people Smaktakula's hypocrisy can sometimes be astounding stupid people sweet sweet cheeba Tardsie's True-Ass Tales that trick never works the French this day in history treachery true meanings of holidays United Kingdom United States of America untalented stars weed Where Are They Now? Why am I so fat? Why am I so stupid? you got a real purty mouth

Promethean History

December 2025
M T W T F S S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031  
« Oct    

Search The Prometheosphere

Recent Comments

Vivek Golikeri's avatarVivek Golikeri on Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong…
Tim's avatarTim on People Actually Believe That?…
Unknown's avatarAnonymous on Commercials We Do Not Like: Me…
Dudley's avatarDudley on Diff’rent Strokes Curse…
Unknown's avatarAnonymous on Commercials We Do Not Like: Me…
Smaktakula's avatarSmaktakula on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
David's avatarDavid on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
Rackuzius's avatarRackuzius on Brilliant, Dirty Weirdo Said T…
Smaktakula's avatarSmaktakula on Teachable Moments
Yoshihiko Motaro's avatarYoshihiko Motaro on Teachable Moments
Unknown's avatarAnonymous on Words Never To Use: N****…
Alex C's avatarAlex C on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
Usman Makhdoom's avatarUsman Makhdoom on Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong…
Lary James's avatarLary James on Untruth & Consequences: Do…
Jay's avatarJay on Teachable Moments

Tardsie D. Bagg

Unknown's avatar

Smaktakula

Unknown's avatar

Networked Blogs

NetworkedBlogs
Blog:
Promethean Times
Topics:
Satire, Irreverence, Snarkery
 
Follow my blog

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
  • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Promethean Times
    • Join 457 other subscribers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Promethean Times
    • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar