Tags
ABC, Afghanistan, arthritis, Barack Obama, BBC News, BLTs, breakfast killing spree, Bud Selig, Chicago Tribune, Germans in large groups are best avoided, Governor Moonbeam, headlines, infidels, Iraq, Islam, Jerry Brown, Kentucky, LA Times, leeches, Meg Whitman, Moose, Moose Knuckle, mosque, MSNBC, New York Times, pets, Proty II, San Francisco Chronicle, Seattle Times, Somalia, Taliban, Time, USA Today, who reads USA Today anyway?
By Smaktakula
In which we can’t be bothered to read the articles, but are quite happy to comment on the headlines.
Because Promethean Times Is Above All Else Topical.
Time Iraq: What Will The Remaining 50,000 U.S. Troops Do?
- We dunno; try not to die?
New York Times Moose Offer A Trail Of Clues On Arthritis
- How can this NOT be about the Moose Knuckle?
Seattle Times Islamic Center Debate Stupefies Muslim World
- Unaccustomed as it is to debate. Also to women drivers and BLTs.
MSNBC Somalia rebels looking like Taliban – World news – Africa – msnbc.com.
- Pretty much any form of government is an improvement in that anarchic hellhole.
ABC Deadly Attacks Across Iraq After US Troop Numbers Drop Below 50K
- But didn’t we win?
Chicago Tribune Can Your Pet Read Your Mind?
- What? Are you a child? No!
USA Today Bud Selig Attends Ceremony For Bud Selig Statue
- If he didn’t show, he’d be an even bigger douche than he already is.
LA Times Whitman targets Bay Area voters with ad attacking Brown
- Whitman wastes her fucking money.
LA Times Plastic bag ban is a job killer
- Yeah, but it makes us feel like we’re doing something for the environment without expending any effort.
NY Times Afghans Pull Money From Weakened Bank
- Wait–Afghanistan has a bank?
San Francisco Chronicle Killing spree suspect’s downhill slide
- Trajectory of the slide: He killed a guy, and it was all downhill from there.
Reuters Obama says his economic policies halted “bleeding”
- Leeches will achieve the same end.
BBC News Six dead after US breakfast killing spree in Kentucky
- The sausage patty tried to calm things down, but the scrambled eggs was tweaking on some bad ice he’d scored the night before. Scrambly was jumpy; he was constantly fiddling with his gun while shouting lines from ‘The Wedding Planner’ at the top of his voice. It was only a matter of time before things turned bloody.
New York Times Long Dormant, German Pride Blinks and Stirs
- United Kingdom braces for massive influx of French refugees.
Promethean Times 