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Tag Archives: Germans in large groups are best avoided

Irony, As Expressed Through The 2011 NBA Championship

17 Friday Jun 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity, News, Sport

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Basketball, Dallas Mavericks, Dirk Nowitzki, Germans in large groups are best avoided, Ha Ha!, irony, LeBron James, Miami Heat, NBA, schadenfreude, that trick never works

By Tardsie

It is almost-but-not-quite ironic that the term Schadenfreude is a German coinage.

This Time Around, It Was Less About Which Team Won, But Rather, Seeing One Guy Lose.

Headlines 09.14.10

14 Tuesday Sep 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in News

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Tags

ABC, Afghanistan, arthritis, Barack Obama, BBC News, BLTs, breakfast killing spree, Bud Selig, Chicago Tribune, Germans in large groups are best avoided, Governor Moonbeam, headlines, infidels, Iraq, Islam, Jerry Brown, Kentucky, LA Times, leeches, Meg Whitman, Moose, Moose Knuckle, mosque, MSNBC, New York Times, pets, Proty II, San Francisco Chronicle, Seattle Times, Somalia, Taliban, Time, USA Today, who reads USA Today anyway?

By Smaktakula

In which we can’t be bothered to read the articles, but are quite happy to comment on the headlines.

Because Promethean Times Is Above All Else Topical.

Time  Iraq: What Will The Remaining 50,000 U.S. Troops Do?

  • We dunno; try not to die?

New York Times  Moose Offer A Trail Of Clues On Arthritis

  • How can this NOT be about the Moose Knuckle?

Seattle Times  Islamic Center Debate Stupefies Muslim World

  • Unaccustomed as it is to debate.  Also to women drivers and BLTs.

MSNBC  Somalia rebels looking like Taliban – World news – Africa – msnbc.com.

  • Pretty much any form of government is an improvement in that anarchic hellhole.

ABC  Deadly Attacks Across Iraq After US Troop Numbers Drop Below 50K

  • But didn’t we win?

Chicago Tribune  Can Your Pet Read Your Mind?

  • What?  Are you a child?  No!

USA Today  Bud Selig Attends Ceremony For Bud Selig Statue

  • If he didn’t show, he’d be an even bigger douche than he already is.

LA Times  Whitman targets Bay Area voters with ad attacking Brown

  • Whitman wastes her fucking money.

LA Times  Plastic bag ban is a job killer

  • Yeah, but it makes us feel like we’re doing something for the environment without expending any effort.

NY Times  Afghans Pull Money From Weakened Bank

  • Wait–Afghanistan has a bank?

San Francisco Chronicle  Killing spree suspect’s downhill slide

  • Trajectory of the slide: He killed a guy, and it was all downhill from there.

Reuters  Obama says his economic policies halted “bleeding”

  • Leeches will achieve the same end.

BBC News  Six dead after US breakfast killing spree in Kentucky

  • The sausage patty tried to calm things down, but the scrambled eggs was tweaking on some bad ice he’d scored the night before.  Scrambly was jumpy; he was constantly fiddling with his gun while shouting lines from ‘The Wedding Planner’ at the top of his voice.  It was only a matter of time before things turned bloody.

New York Times  Long Dormant, German Pride Blinks and Stirs

  • United Kingdom braces for massive influx of French refugees.

Raves Are Best Enjoyed Without Drugs Or Love

03 Friday Sep 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Culture, Music, News

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

arrests, club kids, death by love, death by overdose, death by stampede, Diabetes, drugs, ecstacy, Germans in large groups are best avoided, good clean American fun, I'm not the Lorax Dammit!, Los Angeles, Love Festival, Love Parade, rave culture, raves, stampede, techno music, the Lorax, trampling deaths, Wilford Brimley, your mother must be very proud

By Smaktakula

It’s hard to believe that the world has changed so much in just a year.  For at least a generation, raves represented one of the last bastions of good, clean, American fun.  But now things are changing: the unwelcome shadow of drugs is increasingly encroaching upon the outer edges of the scene.

These Drug-Free Kids Prove The Old Raver Adage: You Can Be Dippy Without Being Trippy.

When Promethean Times first reported on this phenomenon, we dismissed these early warnings as the work of one or two bad apples.  Nor were we alone in underestimating the threat posed by illicit chemicals.  Promethean Times still holds that drugs are not necessary to enjoy an air-raid siren set to a metronomic beat, and that the shared joy of grinding sexlessly against the nearest sweaty, stinking body is in no way enhanced by chemicals.  We believe that a twenty-eight year old dressed up as the Lorax can be kooky and fun, and not just a wincingly pitiable product of drug-attenuated tastes.  But are these long-cherished values still embraced by today’s young ravers?

"I'm Not The Lorax, Dammit! I'm Wilford Brimley, And Your Diabetes Is Out Of Control!"

There are troubling indications that these wholesome traditions are breaking down.  In Los Angeles, 80 people were arrested and several hospitalized at yet another rave.  Most of the arrests and hospitalizations were the result of drug use.

Fact: Gathering Massive Numbers Of Germans In One Place For Any Reason Means Someone's Going To Die.

The use of “Love” in the name of the gathering points to a disturbing new trend, where young people hold orgiastic celebrations in honor of the positive emotion.   Americans should count themselves lucky with the casualties they did receive–in the German Love Parade 21 people were crushed to death in a stampede of unbridled affection.

Your Mother Must Be Very Proud.

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