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By Smaktakula

In which we can’t be bothered to read the articles, but are quite happy to comment on the headlines.

Because Promethean Times Is Above All Else Topical.

Time  Iraq: What Will The Remaining 50,000 U.S. Troops Do?

  • We dunno; try not to die?

New York Times  Moose Offer A Trail Of Clues On Arthritis

Seattle Times  Islamic Center Debate Stupefies Muslim World

  • Unaccustomed as it is to debate.  Also to women drivers and BLTs.

MSNBC  Somalia rebels looking like Taliban – World news – Africa – msnbc.com.

  • Pretty much any form of government is an improvement in that anarchic hellhole.

ABC  Deadly Attacks Across Iraq After US Troop Numbers Drop Below 50K

  • But didn’t we win?

Chicago Tribune  Can Your Pet Read Your Mind?

  • What?  Are you a child?  No!

USA Today  Bud Selig Attends Ceremony For Bud Selig Statue

LA Times  Whitman targets Bay Area voters with ad attacking Brown

  • Whitman wastes her fucking money.

LA Times  Plastic bag ban is a job killer

  • Yeah, but it makes us feel like we’re doing something for the environment without expending any effort.

NY Times  Afghans Pull Money From Weakened Bank

  • Wait–Afghanistan has a bank?

San Francisco Chronicle  Killing spree suspect’s downhill slide

  • Trajectory of the slide: He killed a guy, and it was all downhill from there.

Reuters  Obama says his economic policies halted “bleeding”

  • Leeches will achieve the same end.

BBC News  Six dead after US breakfast killing spree in Kentucky

  • The sausage patty tried to calm things down, but the scrambled eggs was tweaking on some bad ice he’d scored the night before.  Scrambly was jumpy; he was constantly fiddling with his gun while shouting lines from ‘The Wedding Planner’ at the top of his voice.  It was only a matter of time before things turned bloody.

New York Times  Long Dormant, German Pride Blinks and Stirs

  • United Kingdom braces for massive influx of French refugees.