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By Smaktakula

And To The East They Saw A Star Burning In The Heavens, And All Who Followed That Star Found Some Great Deals At Target.

It’s easy to get swept up in the holidays during this time of the year: frantic shopping excursions boiling with unwashed humanity; uncomfortable family gatherings in which the introduction of alcohol turns awkwardness to acrimony as if by magic; gifts so shitty that no mentally competent adult could possibly enjoy them.  This is what we look forward to eleven months out of the year.

Getting Shitty Drunk Is The Only Way Dad Can Face The Prospect Of Another Year With You People.

As difficult as it can sometimes be, it’s a good idea to pause and take a long, reflective look at Christmas, meditating not only upon the meaning of this very special holiday, but also on its significance within our own lives.  The latter answer will vary depending upon the speaker.

It's Not Really Christmas Until Cousin Becky Gets Weepy.

As to the former–the meaning behind the gift-giving, tinsel and tree–the answer is not nearly so subjective, but every bit as significant.  Although known to every man, woman and child across Christendom, it is worth remembering that when we celebrate Christmas, we are really celebrating the birth of that Scarlet Savior and Merry Messiah–Santa, from Whom all gifts flow.

Santa Doesn't "Require" Human Sacrifice In The Same Way You Don't "Require" Nice Presents.

Merry Christmas.  God Bless Us, Everyone! ∞T.