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The date for Lindsay Lohan’s final, pathetic implosion remains unknown, but draws inexorably closer. Throughout her short life, the Flower of American Skankhood has faced a number of legal difficulties both domestically and abroad, but can now add a new charge to her growing rap sheet: grand theft.
LiLo is accused of boosting a $2,500 necklace from a California Jewelry store in January, less than a month after ending her most recent rehab stay. Although the sticky-fingered celebriskank had not heretofore been charged with theft, she is suspected in several recent clothing-related heists.
Having snorted the bulk of her dwindling resources, Lohan may not be able to enlist the services of a top-flight lawyer, and it’s unlikely that she’ll receive a helping hand from Hollywood with her star so rapidly on the wane. However, some LiLophiles see a silver lining in the event that Lohan is compelled to do jail time. Every day that the drug-addled has-been spends behind bars is another day that she cheats the untimely and degrading death which awaits her.
I suppose this is what happens when your parents aspire to raise a trained poodle. Why not a piece on her “dancer” turned golddigger mommy?
We love the image of a meth-addled poodle, The! Great suggestion vis-a-vis Dina Lohan, whom we have heretofore all but neglected.