Tags
baby daddy, Bill Clinton, California, celebriskanks, Celebrity Death Watch, completely preventable deaths, Crime, drugs, Flower of American Skankhood, grand theft, implosion, legal issues, LiLo, LiLophiles, Lindsay Lohan, Lohan arrested, lost girls, Marilyn Monroe, skankery, skanks, theft, tweakers, untalented stars, Venice
By Smaktakula
Isn't This The Chick Who Accosted Us Outside Of 7-11 And Wouldn't Shut Up About Her "Tweaker Piece Of Shit Baby Daddy" Until We Gave Her A Quarter?
The date for Lindsay Lohan’s final, pathetic implosion remains unknown, but draws inexorably closer. Throughout her short life, the Flower of American Skankhood has faced a number of legal difficulties both domestically and abroad, but can now add a new charge to her growing rap sheet: grand theft.
LiLo is accused of boosting a $2,500 necklace from a California Jewelry store in January, less than a month after ending her most recent rehab stay. Although the sticky-fingered celebriskank had not heretofore been charged with theft, she is suspected in several recent clothing-related heists.
Having snorted the bulk of her dwindling resources, Lohan may not be able to enlist the services of a top-flight lawyer, and it’s unlikely that she’ll receive a helping hand from Hollywood with her star so rapidly on the wane. However, some LiLophiles see a silver lining in the event that Lohan is compelled to do jail time. Every day that the drug-addled has-been spends behind bars is another day that she cheats the untimely and degrading death which awaits her.
Unlike Marilyn Monroe, LiLo Lacks Talent And Has Never Banged A President. Although One Of Those Is Within Lindsay's Reach, Bill Clinton Will Never Be Able To Make Her Talented.
Promethean Times 
I suppose this is what happens when your parents aspire to raise a trained poodle. Why not a piece on her “dancer” turned golddigger mommy?
We love the image of a meth-addled poodle, The! Great suggestion vis-a-vis Dina Lohan, whom we have heretofore all but neglected.