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By Smaktakula

The Love Between Two Inanimate Objects Can Be As Powerful As Any Other Love.

Longtime roommates Bert & Ernie may have to answer some uncomfortable questions about their relationship.  Although speculation regarding the nature of the Muppets’ relationship has been rife since their debut in 1969, both Bert and Ernie have remained silent amount the matter, saying that theirs is a children’s show, and that while they staunchly support an individual’s right to his or her own sexuality, the pair considers the issue inappropriate for Sesame Street.

This Only Adds Support To Smaktakula's Belief That Sharing Is Totally Gay.

That’s not good enough, says Lair Scott, a homosexual activist with too little in his life to keep him busy.  Life is tough for gay people, Scott asserts, particularly for the young.  However, Scott believes that if Bert and Ernie were to proudly queer the air, all that would change overnight.  He’s started a petition demanding that Children’s Television Workshop out the long-time friends.

He's Deluded If He Thinks The Coming Out Of A TV Puppet Will Spare Him An Adolescence Replete With Beatings.

Whatever choice the closeted duo ultimately makes will be the right one.  CTW has nothing to prove, and doesn’t need to force these characters to come out to demonstrate to the world their tolerance.  The publicly-funded organization  has repeatedly demonstrated its belief that love has no color or shape, and that if you get him drunk enough, a frog will fuck a pig.

You've Heard The Old Saying: Once You Try Swine, Nothing's Ever So Fine.