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Tag Archives: muppets

Guppet Duo Urged To Define Relationship

12 Friday Aug 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Politics, Stupidity

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Bert, Bert & Ernie, bestiality, Children's Television Workshop, closeted entertainers, Ernie, gay people, guppets, homosexuality, Kermit, Miss Piggy, muppets

By Smaktakula

The Love Between Two Inanimate Objects Can Be As Powerful As Any Other Love.

Longtime roommates Bert & Ernie may have to answer some uncomfortable questions about their relationship.  Although speculation regarding the nature of the Muppets’ relationship has been rife since their debut in 1969, both Bert and Ernie have remained silent amount the matter, saying that theirs is a children’s show, and that while they staunchly support an individual’s right to his or her own sexuality, the pair considers the issue inappropriate for Sesame Street.

This Only Adds Support To Smaktakula's Belief That Sharing Is Totally Gay.

That’s not good enough, says Lair Scott, a homosexual activist with too little in his life to keep him busy.  Life is tough for gay people, Scott asserts, particularly for the young.  However, Scott believes that if Bert and Ernie were to proudly queer the air, all that would change overnight.  He’s started a petition demanding that Children’s Television Workshop out the long-time friends.

He's Deluded If He Thinks The Coming Out Of A TV Puppet Will Spare Him An Adolescence Replete With Beatings.

Whatever choice the closeted duo ultimately makes will be the right one.  CTW has nothing to prove, and doesn’t need to force these characters to come out to demonstrate to the world their tolerance.  The publicly-funded organization  has repeatedly demonstrated its belief that love has no color or shape, and that if you get him drunk enough, a frog will fuck a pig.

You've Heard The Old Saying: Once You Try Swine, Nothing's Ever So Fine.

Keep It Kosher, Kermit

04 Friday Mar 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity, Culture, Stupidity

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

childish sexual innuendo, Chinese food, frog-on-pig action, Frogs, Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, muppets, pigs, the love which dare not speak its name

By Smaktakula

"Would You Care To Know Why *MOI*--Renowned Star Of Stage And Screen, Chooses To Douche With Honey And Vinegar? HMM?"

"Because I Love Sweet And Sour Pork."

It’s true.  He eats it like a pig. ∞T.

Revealed: The Real Reason Sesame Street Pulled The Katy Perry Apperance

24 Friday Sep 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity, Music, Stupidity

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

censorship, Children's Television Workshop, Elmo, Elmo is a mack, Elmo's World, episode pulled, I love to count!, Katy Perry, Katy Perry's tits, kiddie shows, lewdness, muppets, prudery, Public Television, scandal, Sesame Street, sex, skankery, skonks, YouTube

By Smaktakula

The children’s television show Sesame Street has been a hot topic since the show’s producers decided to pull a controversial segment featuring singer Katy Perry. Children’s Television Workshop defended the action, noting that its executive board had reconsidered the segment after receiving a volume of negative feedback.  Parents and youth advocacy groups are said to regard Perry’s plunging neckline as too racy for the children’s show.

The major media outlets all dutifully ran the story, relaying the information the show’s producers had fed them.  However, according to an insider who spoke to Promethean Times on the condition of anonymity, the story about Perry’s revealing outfit was “just so much fluff.”  The source claims that the segment was axed to protect the show’s wholesome reputation after news of an affair between Perry and a Sesame Street cast member became public.

Said the insider:

“Everybody knew what was going on. Ah-ah-ah.  We could hear her moaning in her dressing room all the way from the main stage.  Ah-ah-ah.  It was disgusting.  She moaned one time.  Ah-ah-ah.  She moaned two times.  Ah-ah-ah.  She moaned three times.  Ah-ah-ah.

Do you want me to keep going?  Because it goes on for a while, and if you have not heard, I love to count. Ah-ah-ah.”

"So Then Elmo Sees Katy For The First Time, And Elmo Says, 'Damn, Bitch! Elmo Hasn't Seen Your Fine Ass Around Here Before.' She Was All Like, 'Whatever,' But Elmo Was Like, 'Ho, Let Elmo Lay Some Truth On You: Elmo Is Gonna Tap That Ass Within The Hour. Straight Up.'"

‘Cause It’s Elmo’s World, Beyotch!

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