Tags
alcohol, bad decisions, Beer Goggles, celebriskanks, life is a cruel bitch sometimes, poor impulse control, reality television, schadenfreude, unlike your 15 minutes of fame a child lasts forever, wasted life, white trash, Why am I so stupid?
By Smaktakula
Bummer: The wayward strumpets on MTV’s Teen Mom get paid a lot more than you do.
This Child Is A Living Testament That, Given Enough Liquor, A Man Will Hump Just About Anything.
“Have you met my kids? The older boy’s named Beer Goggles and this is my daughter, Regretta. The little one’s Cody.”
Promethean Times 
How could you not think about sex when you see the first girl? Her hat looks like a reservoir tip condom.
See, now you’re thinking it too.
Sadly, I am. What has been seen cannot be unseen. First Toni Basil and now this. Why, Guap? Why?
I wish I could unsee the photo you had posted the other day of the topless kids….that has given me nightmares, Smak! He kinda looked like Eminem, too….
Umm…. I’m gonna go with “misery loves company” on this one.
And if that doesn’t work, then “If I have to suffer through that image, everyone else should too”.
I can’t believe it, but I do… When I saw the picture of the Teen Mom, I thought, her f…ing hat looks like the tip of a condom. So, I guess I’m not alone. Maybe she did that intentionally. What a freak.
I really didn’t want to scroll up, but a condom hat is too much not to verify!
Ok, more Ohio commentary, but go to any rural WalMart in Ohio (I suggest Marion or Newark, because I’ve been to both of those) and you’ll see much more repulsive examples of humanity than even the Teen Moms of TV: Those Who Should NOT Breed but Did. Usually the female is at least the size of a year-old heifer and has popped out her first rugrat before the age of 14, while the male is the size of the Taco Bell Chihuahua with few or no teeth, and is covered in foul “white power”, “the South will rise again,” Rebel flags, etc, jailhouse tats. The children of such ill-advised unions are cute when they’re small, but usually end up being slack-jawed and brain damaged from the combination of terrible DNA and all the crack and meth Mommy did when she was preggers.
Our tax dollars at work, because we’re going to be subsidizing these people and their abysmal life choices forever. It’s not a good idea to keep on glorifying teen breeding, especially among those who aren’t smart enough to realize they should consign themselves to permanent celibacy.
I think we’ve been to the same Ohio WalMarts…
I haven’t been–yet. I’d love to tour these human feeding-pens. I’ve been to the Wall-Mart in Redding, California–and while I CERTAINLY don’t confuse the Great State of California with Ohio, Redding might be as close as we get.
Stop me if you guys have heard this one before:
What’s round on the ends and poor in the middle?
Or did I mess that up?
I kid because I love.
I didn’t get that. Which is probably why I shop at Target.
I didn’t get that.
I don’t believe you.
And I don’t mean that in a “Duh, I can’t believe you don’t get that” sense, but rather that I suspect you of once again passively aggressively undermining a joke. But this time, the joke’s on you, because this one wasn’t even that funny! BURN!
Certainly not as funny as the jokes in “Dumb and Dumber”…
I can’t comment on that with any authority. I’ll have to watch that fine film again.
Yes, Target is the sort of WalMart for the high class redneck. It smells better and the employees as well as the clientele generally speak at least some English. Rich people have to buy toilet paper somewhere.
Speaking of toilet paper, there’s less of it on the floor in Target as well.
So true, you can actually use the crapper there if you have to!
I read the article linked here, and she’s going down, ha ha ha, and claimed she’ll accept the life that’s been “handed to” her. Handed to her? Are you kidding me? Get real!! 😀
Now I’m depressed.
Madame Weebles,
If I send you a pic of me in a condom hat, will you be happier?
Le Clown
I think that might help, Le Clown, yes.
I’m going to hurl myself from a high place after I hit Post Comment. I just saw a magazine cover at the grocery store showing one set of Teen Mom parents who gave up their first kid for adoption…they are now expecting another one. Great.
Well, if your occupation is brood sow, you’ve gotta do what you know.
I wanted to dictate a somewhat serious comment but after reading El Guapo’s comment about the reservoir tip condom hat, I’m laughing too hard. My voice recognition software doesn’t have a “laughing hard” voice, so I’m resigned to typing on the keyboard. Not necessarily bad because I do enjoy a good, hearty laugh.
Thanks for stopping by RRP! Yeah, Guap floored us with that one, too.