Tags
anti-semitism, Cash4Gold, Gold, Hammer Time!, has-beens, King Hammer, leprechaun consortium, leprechauns, MC Hammer, precious metals, Reverend Hammer, ye stole me gold!
By Smaktakula
Cash4Gold. You’ve seen the ads on TV, at the mall and on creepy hand-drawn signs stapled to telephone poles at the edge of town: “Turn your useless gold into cash!” But why the sudden demand? Who wants all this gold?
There are a number of likely suspects. In fact, any group with sufficient pooled resources and a lack of scruples could be behind it: old moneyed families angling for more power, corporations looking to corner the market on the precious metal or the Red Chinese using financial flimflammery to bring the West to its knees.
As plausible as any of these explanations may be, they all fail to identify the actual culprit. Then just who is behind this sudden drive for gold? To arrive at this answer, it is critical to first shed preconceived notions about what is likely or even possible. Then, begin at the beginning by asking the question whose answer will cut through the mystery: What group’s craving for gold hovers on the edge of obsession and has come to define them as a people?
The answer to who is behind the Cash4Gold drive then becomes obvious–a leprechaun consortium.