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Tag Archives: Great Moments In American Diplomacy

Great Moments In American Diplomacy: Fooling Ivan

08 Wednesday Dec 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in History

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accidental president, Chester A. Arthur, Cold War, Eastern Europe, Franklin Pierce, Gerald Ford, Great Moments In American Diplomacy, idiotic comments, Ivan, Jimmy Carter, President Carter, President Ford, presidential election, Soviet Union, stupid people, USSR, William Henry Harrison

In A Moment Of Patriotic Selflessness, Gerald Ford Declares During The 1976 Presidential Debate That "There Is No Soviet Domination Of Eastern Europe." This Moment Of Feigned Incompetence Handed Carter The Presidency, But Lured Moscow Into A False Sense Of Complacency Which Ultimately Led To The Fall Of Soviet Communism, Ensconcing The Accidental President Among Such Renowned Chief Executives As Chester A. Arthur, William Henry Harrison and Franklin Pierce.

Not What You Were Looking Four?

07 Tuesday Sep 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, General Foolishness, Hollywood, People

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Anne Rice, Baby Boomers, bulls, Chesley Sullenberger, crazy bastard, David Arquette, dope, douchebaggery, Dr. Grigori Perelman, dreadlocks, Garfield, goring, grass, Great Moments In American Diplomacy, Guy Fieri, hairless hit factory, hemp, hippies, Hiroshima, incompetent boobery, Japan, Jeffrey Jones, John Wayne Bobbitt, Jon Lovitz, Justin Bieber, Kathy Ireland, Lorena Gallo Bobbitt, marijuana, Michael Steele, Mike Tyson, Mom and Dad Save the World, nasty blond dreadlocks, Olive Garden, pirates, pot, Ramtha, reefer, Richard Simmons, Saudi Arabia, sweet sweet cheeba, tattoos, Teri Garr, Wallace Shawn

By Smaktakula

Well what did you think we were gonna call it?  Not what you were looking for four? Imbecile.

Newer readers who are unfamiliar with our “Not What You Were Looking For?” series may wish to review our first three fabulous installments:

  • Not What You Were Looking For?
  • Still Not What You Were Looking For?
  • Not What You Were Looking For, Episode III: The Search For Cock

promethan times Wrong!

world’s worst latin mullet; russian mullet No one wins when the M Virus spreads.  At least Iran has taken precautions.

hiroshima august 6 2010 Nothing happened on that date. But 65 years earlier, the place was smokin’!

ohn and lorena bobbit Looks like that dick got sliced again.

drunk irishman shit self We’ll agree that No Line On The Horizon wasn’t U2’s finest effort.

ramtha crazy; ramtha full of shit Well which is it?

grigori perelman god proof No one is God proof–not even that crazy bastard.

bulls goring mouth Bulls gore with their horns.  They bite with their mouths.  Now you know.

sad “richard simmons” Sad?  But we thought gay was a synonym for ‘happy’?

smoking marijuana wisely It can’t be done.  Have you seen how those people dress?

promathan times Wrong!

penis fact 1952 Fact: The penis wasn’t even invented until 1955.

real garlfield cat We’re sorry that it falls upon us to tell you this, but we think you should know that Garfield isn’t real.  That’s right, he’s a cartoon character.  Douche.

live aid Live Aid did a lot of good for a lot of people.  Also, Freddy Mercury was a beloved performer who helped to put a human face to AIDS.

justin bieber sexy You’ll recall that we wished ill upon the hairless hit factory.  For sexy JB, this is more your bag.

lazy bastards on unemployment Now you’re just trying to stir up trouble.

hippie elderly people Sadly it’s true: the Baby Boomers are retiring.  They look forward to travel, spending time with their grandchildren, and self-indulgently sucking dry the nation’s financial marrow.

do dread make your head big In some instances it do.  If you blond, it make your head stupid.

pictures of black actor died Haven’t we already been through this?

how many californians smoke marijuana Too many of them.

prerry herd Is that dirty?  It sounds dirty.

saudi punishment The punishment is that the senior class won’t have a dance this year.  And they’ll all be flogged.

michael steele douchebaggery It was incompetent boobery, actually.

guy fieri pirate With that hair, we can definitely see it.  Or do you mean like a buccaneer-type pirate?

great moments in american diplomacy Here, Here and Here.

bull cow smiling Don’t trust that hermaphroditic bovine.

july 14, 1789 a.d. paris It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.  Feel free to start a novel with that line.

captain sullenberger wife beater Captain Sullenberger’s wife: backtalker.

author renounces catholicism And nobody noticed.

divorced happy photos We’re guessing you spend a great deal of time huddled in a corner, weeping.

commercials we hate olive garden That’s so weird–we hate those commercials, too!  Also Bush’s Original Baked Beans.

david arquette tats You’ll wish you hadn’t.  Sooner rather than later.

cast of mom and dad save the world It Features Jon Lovitz, Teri Garr, Kathy Ireland and the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard rendered into flesh and blood, Wallace Shawn.  Also this dangerous child molester.

mexican marijuana A lot like domestic marijuana except it works harder and costs less.

promethean times Right!

Great Moments In American Diplomacy: The Little Big Horn

28 Monday Jun 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, History, Politics, Relationships

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7th Cavalry, Cheyenne, Custer's Last Stand, General George Armstrong Custer, Great Moments In American Diplomacy, Holy Shit! Look at all those fucking Indians!, Indians, Lakota, Little Big Horn, Montana Territory, Native Americans, Sioux, Sitting Bull, that trick never works, The Battle of the Little Big Horn, The Indian Wars, unimproved red men, United States Army, United States of America, Wounded Knee Massacre, Yellow Hair

June 25, 1876: On Which The Sioux Are Made To Understand That Their Way Of Life Will No Longer Be Tolerated.
See you guys at Wounded Knee!  Be sure to bring the family.

Great Moments In American Diplomacy: D Day

07 Monday Jun 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Europe, History, International Relations, Justice, Military, Mythology, Politics, Relationships

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6 June 1944, Allies, Axis, Battle of Normandy, Canada, D Day, evil shenanigans, France, Frogs, Germany, Gold, Great Moments In American Diplomacy, Jerry, Juno, Krauts, Normandy Invasion, Normandy Landing, Omaha, Operation Neptune, Operation Overlord, Sword, The Hun, United Kingdom, United States of America, Utah

June 6, 1944: On Which The Hun Is Made To Understand That His Evil Shenanigans Will No Longer Be Tolerated.

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Great Moments In American Diplomacy: January 1992–Bush 41 Pukes On Japanese PM

05 Friday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Art, Asia, Food, General Foolishness, Health, History, Humor, Justice, People, Politics, World Affairs

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Bush 41, diplomacy, George Bush Sr., George Herbert Walker Bush, Great Moments In American Diplomacy, Japanese Prime Minister, Kiichi Miyazawa, Prime Minister of Japan, puke, vomit

George Herbert Walker Bush Remembers The Arizona

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