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Tag Archives: Kim Jong-un is batshit crazy

‘Lil ‘Lil Kim’s ‘Lil Weight Problem

11 Monday Oct 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, History, Politics

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'Lil 'Lil Kim, 'Lil Kim, 'Lil Kim is dying, Asia, Brilliant Comrade, comical despots, despots of size, fat people, impoverished third-world hellhole, Kim Jong-il, Kim Jong-il is batshit crazy, Kim Jong-un, Kim Jong-un is batshit crazy, North Korea, people of size, succession, Why am I so fat?

By Smaktakula

Meet The New Boss, Same As The Old Boss. Except Much Fatter.

It’s not typical in the information age for the political rising star of a nuclear-capable rogue state to go unnoticed by nervous foreign powers.  But in the case of the Brilliant Comrade, Kim Jong-il’s mysterious and until recently unknown son, Kim Jong-un, that appears to be exactly what happened.

Because Despots-In-Training--Even The Comical Kind--Do Not Smile For Photos.

Now the old man is trotting ‘Lil ‘Lil Kim out at every opportunity, giving the world a chance to examine the Brilliant Comrade in detail.  He’s a little heftier than previous pictures indicated, not unremarkable in a country so desperately lacking in food.  Moreover, ‘Lil ‘Lil Kim’s porcine features coupled with the irascible disposition he is said to have inherited from his father lends him that special brand of terrifying goofiness which should allow him to lord over the impoverished third-world hellhole as long as its crumbling infrastructure holds out.

"Th-Th-Th-That's All, F-F-F-Forks!"

Meet Tomorrow’s Tyrants Today: Even Littler Kim

02 Thursday Sep 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Asia, Culture, History, Military, Mythology, Politics, World Affairs

≈ 4 Comments

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'Lil 'Lil Kim, Brilliant Comrade, California, comical despots, fun with stereotypes, impoverished third-world hellhole, Kim Curly-jo, Kim Jong-il, Kim Jong-un, Kim Jong-un is batshit crazy, Kim Larry-il, meet tomorrow's tyrants today, Nintendo, North Korea, Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!, third generation tyrants

By Smaktakula

The question of succession in North Korea weighs heavily on heads of state across the globe.  This is particularly true for neighbors of the belligerent Asian nation, who fear the possible future of a North Korea even more despotic and mercurial than the current regime.

Meet the Brilliant Comrade, Kim Jong-un.  Born sometime around 1982 or 1983, Kim Jong-il’s youngest son and chosen successor is said to be very much like his father in temperament and tastes, meaning he is a megalomaniacal, avaricious dickball perfectly suited to lord over North Korea during the stupefying ruination of the impoverished third-world hellhole.

There is some danger of a power struggle after the elder Kim dies.  Not only does the Brilliant Comrade face treachery on the military front from upstart generals grown weary of Clan Kim’s wacky rule, but also internecine connivance from passed-over older brothers, Kim Larry-il and Kim Curly-jo.

This is one of the few pictures of ‘Lil ‘Lil Kim known to exist.

"Do You Rike . . . Nintendo?"

Update: Within five minutes of the picture’s publication, authorities received over five hundred calls from citizens who claimed they had spotted Kim Jong-un.  The vast majority of these erroneous sightings–and in one or two cases false imprisonment–occurred in Orange and Los Angeles County shopping malls.

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