If this is your high school senior portrait, then yes, he is:
career opportunities, carnies, carnivals, carny, Charles Bukowski, Code of the Carnies, creepy subcultures, Hey Rube!, meth, methamphetamine, Rohypnol, roofies, serial killers, the midway, traveling folk, William Faulkner, you got a real purty mouth
There are those unique individuals who dread the notion of riding a desk until retirement, who long to work not in a stuffy cubicle, but under God’s own sky, and who chafe against the constricting mores of traditional society. For those willing to do whatever it takes to find it, there is still a place for the truly free man among the traveling folk of the carnival.
Every day, a growing number of Americans are eschewing a staid and plastic life of comfort and safety, instead casting their lot among the fringy legions of that uniquely American bottom-feeder, the carny. A carny is free to pursue his own dreams, be they the simple aspiration to drink turpentine until the onset of blindness, or more dramatic expressions of individuality, such as marrying a she-goat. The carnival doesn’t judge.
Not just any sketchy drifter with a rap sheet and a love for Night Train can be a Merlin of the Midway–it takes a special commitment. Much like a monk who joins an order, the carny life is a world unto itself.
America on drugs, cocaine, crack, crack pipe, crystal, dope, drug epidemic, drugs, faces of meth, glass teat, grass, hemp, ice, marijuana, meth, methamphetamine, pot, reefer, rock, sweet sweet cheeba, Walmart, weed, Why am I so stupid?
Although potentially-legalized marijuana is the greatest crisis facing contemporary society, it is by no means the only drug insidiously devouring a generation. Below, we present a brace of cautionary tales which illuminate the true horrors and depredations of America’s drug epidemic.
One advantage methamphetamine has over other illegal drugs is that it can be made just about anywhere, using common household products. This ubiquity has caused meth, the little drug that could, to take off like a rocket across the United States.
It turns out, however, that there yet places where the manufacture of methamphetamine remains a poor idea, as Alisha Halfmoon discovered to her regret. The brain-addled crank enthusiast was arrested in a Tulsa, Oklahoma Walmart after spending six hours in the back of the store whipping up a batch of crystal.
But of course meth isn’t the only drug causing Americans to do stupid and degrading things. Crack, considered by many to be ‘yesterday’s scourge,’ is still ruining lives across the nation. Among those enslaved by the glass teat is one Ella Jo Price of South Carolina.
Perhaps believing that it’s better to have something and not need it than to need something and not have it, Price had two crack pipes secreted on her person when police pulled her and another man over for speeding in early December. Although initially resistant to hand over the paraphernalia, when the police became insistent, Price produced the two crack pipes from the foul crannies in which she’d secreted them, her crotch and buttocks respectively.
True? False? That’s what the gossip sites are reporting, anyway. More accurately, they’re claiming that the self-destructing former starlet and Flower of American Skankhood has a mouth full of rotting teeth, from which Promethean Times irresponsibly infers that said condition is a consequence of snorting* great big piles of methamphetamine.
Or it could just be improper hygiene. Remembering to brush after meals can help to preserve healthy teeth for a lifetime. Sadly, LiLo has yet to demonstrate that she can inculcate positive habits into her life, having been “fired” from her community service work at Skid Row Woman’s Shelter. A few months ago, Promethean Times opined of Ms. Lohan, “the time to hit that is now.” Sadly, it appears that the time to hit that has passed.