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Tag Archives: Nelson Mandela

Meet Tomorrow’s Tyrants Today: Black Julius

05 Friday Aug 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity, Culture, Music, Politics

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Africa, African National Congress, Afro-fascist, ANC, ANC Youth League, Apartheid, Asians, bigotry, Black Julius, black people, ChocoFührer, comical despots, Dalai Lama, hatemonger, HIV, Jacob Zuma, Julius Malema, meet tomorrow's tyrants today, Nelson Mandela, Orange Julius, places that suck, race baiting, racism, Robert Mugabe, South Africa, the Troubles, Twitter, white people, Zimbabwe

By Smaktakula

Zuma May Be Rough Around The Edges, But Consider The Alternatives.

Making South Africa’s Jacob Zuma seem statesmanlike is no small feat.  Although the one-party nation’s populist president and leader of the ruling African National Congress (ANC) is by all appearances an affable fellow, Zuma has repeatedly demonstrated behavior unbecoming the head of the nation which, particularly in light of Egypt’s recent woes, remains a premier economic power in Africa.  In one display of poor judgement, Zuma suggested that he was not at risk  for HIV despite having unprotected sex with a woman he knew to be infected, because he took a post-coital shower.   Despite this, the young firebrand whom Zuma himself tagged to be South Africa’s future tyrant imbues the current president with an air of Dalai Lama-like gravitas by comparison.

Orange Julius Is A Different Guy Altogether. This Northern Ireland Rabble-Rouser Was Killed In A 1988 Car-Bomb Attack. Shamrock Shake Is Believed To Have Been The Culprit.

Cherubic hatemonger Julius Malema has proven a polarizing figure in South African politics.  As president of the ANC Youth League since 2008, Malema has courted a number of controversies during his tenure in office, among them vociferous and ad hominem denunciations of various ‘enemies,’ attempts to muzzle the press–including threats to shut down Twitter, and a conviction for hate speech.  Just thirty years old, the inarticulate race-baiter was nine years old when Nelson Mandela was freed and Apartheid abolished, returning national rule to the black majority.  Despite living most of his life in a black-governed South Africa, Malema still manages to blame white people for most of his country’s ills.  He doesn’t care for Asians, either.

Zuma Knowns That As Risky As It Is To Hold A Snake, It's More Dangerous To Put It Down.

As an admirer of Zimbabwe’s Robert ‘ChocoFührer’ Mugabe, Malema espouses taking the means of production out of the hands of a wealthy elite and redistributing it to his more deserving cronies.   These policies have proved nothing short of transformational for Zimbabwe; in just a few short years the aging Afro-fascist has managed to oust most of the nation’s white farmers, erasing not only their influence, but also quite coincidentally, turning what was not so long ago one of Africa’s premier nations into tomorrow’s All-Star Charity Benefit Concert.

Despite Having The Same Mustache, Mugabe Is Not At All Like Hitler. Hitler Was A White Supremacist. Mugabe Is A Black Supremacist. Completely Different.

In South Africa, the fall of Apartheid and the ensuing years of stability, peace and a relatively high living standard have made the nation unique among its neighbors.  However, if anyone can undo this damage and return South Africa to the ranks of the continent’s despotic strong-man regimes, it’s Black Julius.

Julius May Look Like An Angry Lesbian, But Really He's Just An Angry Dude.

The Nobel Prize For Acceptable Politics

12 Tuesday Oct 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity, Culture, History, Politics, Stupidity

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Tags

Afghanistan, African National Congress, Al Gore, Al Gore is the political Art Garfunkel, Albeert Lutuli, ANC, Andrei Sakharov, Barack Obama, China, closeted homosexual, dissident, Henry Kissinger, hypocrisy, Jimmy Carter, Le Duc Tho, Liu Xiaobo, Mahatma, Martin Luther King Jr., Mikhail Gorbachev, Mohandas Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, Nobel Committee, Nobel laureates, Nobel Peace Prize, non-violence, Norway, pacifism, Peace Prize as political statement, resignation in protest, Ronald Reagan, Shimon Peres, undeserving winners, Yasser Arafat, Yitzhak Rabin

By Smaktakula

We're Not Altogether Sure That Ben Stein Deserves The Nobel Peace Prize. Ferris Bueller Just Doesn't Hold Up.

The Nobel Peace Prize was once one of the most prestigious honors an individual could receive, given out for actions which furthered the pursuit of peace.  Many previous laureates are deservedly beloved either for their work toward establishing peace, or for the peaceful means by which they achieved change under difficult circumstances: Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Teresa, Andrei Sakharov, Jimmy Carter, and non-violent head of the African National Congress, Albert Lutuli.

We're Rough On Jimmy From Time To Time, But He Earned This One.

To some degree, the Nobel Prize has always been about expressing the Nobel Committee’s political view, as in 1973, when the Peace Prize was awarded jointly to Henry Kissinger and Le Duc Tho, the latter having the good grace to refuse the award.  Two members of the committee quit in protest over the selection.

Recently, the award has slipped further toward irrelevance as the politicization of the Peace Prize has increased.  Nelson Mandela, the cause celebre of the late 1980s, was awarded the prize in 1992 despite refusing to renounce violence on behalf of the ANC, an organization he wrested from the non-violent Lutuli.

" . . . For Which I Thank The Nobel Committee. Good Night. Okay, Send 30,000 Fresh Troops To Afghanistan."

In 1993 Yitzhak Rabin and Shimon Peres shared the award with terrorist and closeted homosexual Yasser Arafat.  In 1990 Mikhail “Spot” Gorbachev was awarded the prize, but not his partner in peace, Ronald Reagan.  Following the cue of the American people, the Nobel Committee made Barrack Obama a laureate based on what he might do.  Obama took some time from planning the United States’ escalation of the War in Afghanistan to make a quick speech before the Committee.  Al Gore, America’s Official Second Banana, took home the prize in 2007 for jetting around the world to remind people to travel coach.

Fact: Excessive Amounts Of Self-Satisfaction Can Lead To Obesity.

Awarding the prize to Liu Xiaobo, a Chinese dissident further waters down the meaning of the prize.  Although Liu Xiaobo–and anyone who challenges the Beijing regime is undoubtedly brave–it’s difficult to see what achievements he’s made toward peace.  If anything, riling up an autocratic regime leads to anything but peace.

Arafat's Peace Bona Fides: While Many Of Arafat's Soldiers Died Violently, The Nobel Laureate Died Peacefully In A French Hospital.

Many recipients of the prize are certainly deserving of recognition for their superlative efforts in some field, but the Peace Prize seems cheapened somehow by giving it to people who aren’t really all that interested in peace.  What might work better is if the Nobel Committee first picked their laureate, and then created a one-time prize based on his or her accomplishments.

"So You Have Given This Award To A Killer Like Arafat, But For Ghandiji Nothing? If Your First Thought Upon Awakening This Morning Was To Piss Off The Mahatma, Then Let Me Tell You Something My Friend, 'Mission Accomplished.'"

To better demonstrate exciting innovation in award theory, we proudly present:

The Promethean Situational Peace Prize 2010 Inductees:

The Promethean Peace Prize For Cessation of Hostilities: Henry Kissinger, Le Duc Tho.

The Promethean Peace Prize For Promising to Stop Fighting: Yitzhak Rabin, Shimon Peres, Yasser Arafat.

The Promethean Peace Prize For Potential Future Peacemaking: Barack Obama.

The Promethean Peace Prize For Using Violence To Achieve Political Aims: Nelson Mandela.

Rushdie Calls Amnesty ‘Morally Bankrupt’

23 Tuesday Feb 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Europe, General Foolishness, Human Rights, Islam, Middle East, Religion, Terrorism, World Affairs

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Amnesty International, Ayatollah Khomeini, fatwa, Guantanamo Bay, Iran, Nelson Mandela, Salman Rushdie, Taliban, The Satanic Verses

 It’s sad, really, because back when Amnesty International enjoyed a consistent moral philosophy, it joined the international community in pressuring Iran not to kill author Salman Rushdie.  To be fair, the Ayatollah Khomeini did have a legitimate grievance–Mr. Rushdie wrote a book.  Around that same time, Amnesty International was keeping international attention on the plight of then-political prisoner Nelson Mandela.

For several years, however, Amnesty International seems to be losing its way.  Recovering alcoholics often say that a person must first hit “rock bottom” before beginning the road to recovery.  Perhaps this point marks the nadir in the once-great human rights organization’s history, and that Rushdie’s assertion will be a challenge to Amnesty to pick itself back up and begin the long, arduous work of repairing its reputation and mission.

Or, perhaps Amnesty will issue its first-ever fatwa. 

Read it before SR goes back into witness-relocation:Salman Rushdie: Amnesty International is morally bankrupt – Times Online.

Smaktakula

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