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Category Archives: Islam

Pakistanis Flogging The Little Infidel More Than Previously Thought

15 Thursday Jul 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, General Foolishness, Islam, Middle East, People, Relationships, Scandal

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

aberrant sexual behavior, bestiality, camels, childish sexual innuendo, deviant behavior, donkeys, Google, Pakistan, Pakistani women, peeping cybertoms, porno movies, pornography, sex, sexual repression

According to the peeping cybertoms at Google, there’s more to Pakistan than lawless wastelands ravaged by years upon years of soul-grinding warfare.  Those proud Pashtuns are now able to call themselves the world leader in online searches involving pornographic terms.       

Pakistan is top dog in searches per-person for “horse sex” since 2004, “donkey sex” since 2007, “rape pictures” between 2004 and 2009, “rape sex” since 2004, “child sex” between 2004 and 2007 and since 2009, “animal sex” since 2004 and “dog sex” since 2005, according to Google Trends and Google Insights, features of Google that generate data based on popular search terms.       

The Pakistani Predilection For Perverse Porn Is Puzzling Given The Legendary Beauties Of Pakistan

That aberrant sexual behavior would arise within such a sexually stagnant culture comes as a surprise to some, notably the very stupid.       

That’s No Donkey–That’s My Wife.  And My Donkey: FOXNews.com – No. 1 Nation in Sexy Web Searches? Call it Pornistan.       

Smaktakula

Mullah v. Mullet

09 Friday Jul 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Art, Culture, General Foolishness, Human Rights, Humor, Islam, Middle East, Religion, World Affairs

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

anti-Israel policy, anti-semitism, business up front, David Beckham, Emil Haagerdäddi, fashion police, fauxhawks, Iran, Iranian National Soccer Team, Jews, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, mullahcracy, mullahs, mulletards, mulletocracy, mullets, odious hairstyles, party in the back, religious fanatacism, religious intolerance, soccer mullets, that trick never works, The Achy-Breaky, thuggish jackbootery, wacky mullahs

Taking a momentary respite from its real mission (an ill-defined cocktail consisting mostly of breathlessly awaiting the advent of the New Caliphate and hating the Jews), the Iranian Mullahcracy has struck a blow in the war against bad taste.  Iran has banned the mullet and other offensive Western hairstyles.

"Seriously, You Guys Should Be Thanking Me That Someone Finally Had The Courage To Say, 'Hey, You Look Like An Asshole With That Haircut.' I Mean, Geez, I Wouldn't Wish That Rat's Nest On A Filthy Jew."

Wali bin Gud, Iranian Minister of Enlightenment and Cultural Decency, had this to say:

“It is incorrect to say that we have banned offensive Western hairstyles.  Rather, as in the case of the mullet and fauxhawk, two particularly odious hairstyles, we have banned offensive hairstyles which happen to be Western.”

Some observers  were surprised to see Iran working toward the common good.  However, Professor Emil Haagerdäddi, a senior fellow at World Think Center For World Thought, says that Iran is not as altruistic as they might appear.

“You have to remember that everybody must do their thing,”  explains the learned academian, “Get their freak on, as it were.  In this way, national bodies are no different than individuals.   Iran’s thing is, and always has been, repression.  Aside from swap-meet style rugs, thuggish jackbootery is perhaps their best-known national product.”

Festering To Bring About The Mulletocracy By Any Means Necessary, Y’All.

Reaction to the mullet ban has not been universally positive.  FIFA called it “Repression of the cruelest kind.  When you strip a man of his mullet, you strip him also of his very soul.”

Look At This Picture: How Can Hating This Douche Be Wrong?

The Iranian National Soccer Team was said to be particularly disconsolate.

Can You Do Something About Comb-Overs?  Iran bans the mullet | World news | The Guardian.

Smaktakula

Buzzkill Judge Ruins Awesome Saudi Kegger

25 Friday Jun 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Human Rights, Islam, Middle East, People, Politics, Relationships, Religion, Social Networking, World Affairs

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adult breast-feeding, Arrakis, backwater shithole, buzzkill, Footloose, Ha'il, intolerance, Islamic law, John Lithgow, lashing, Muhammad, mullahcracy, punishment, Saudi Arabia, Saudi clerics, Sharia law, town elders, wacky mullahs, Wahabi

A real-life version of the movie Footloose played out recently in Saudi Arabia.  Unlike the cinematic version, the Wahabi version did not end with the creaky town elders learning to loosen up and have a little fun once in a while.  Also, no glitter.         

Actually Much Cooler Than His Real-Life Counterpart.

In the backwater shithole of Ha’il,  fifteen men and women vowed to fight the antiseptic tedium of their earth-bound Arrakis in the only way they knew how: by throwing the biggest all-night rager in the history of the caliphate.            

Just as Lithgow & co. despised dancing, the mullahcracy took a dim view of the young Saudis’ bacchanalian revelry.  Scandalized by the thought of eleven unmarried men and four husbandless women mingling–mingling!– at a party, the town’s sense of propriety was badly bruised.  Fortunately, a judge soberly deliberated upon Islamic law, and levelled a sentence deemed appropriate by most voices in the community:              

A severe beating, followed by some contemplative time in a Saudi jail cell.           

It Pretty Much Happens Just Like This.

The court proved even more merciful on the fourth woman–a minor–who only received lashings.  A source close to the woman reported:            

“She thanks merciful God and His prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) that for her great crimes, the wise mullahs sought only to beat her within an inch of her life.”             

It Was At About This Point That The Party Got Crazy.

Some human rights advocates have decried the Saudis’ punishment as unduly harsh.  While it may seem extreme by Western standards, can you imagine what would have happened if it were a human breast-milk party?            

Damn! Check Out That Hot Little Number On The Left.

Oh He Don’t Score At Bowl-O-Rama/Still You Gotta Thank His Mama: Saudi Arabia convicts 15 men, women for mingling at party – USATODAY.com.       

Smaktakula  

Tell The Town Elders At Facebook All About It

Saudi Clerics Advocate Adult Breast-Feeding

10 Thursday Jun 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Food, Health, Islam, Middle East, People, Relationships, Religion

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

adult breast-feeding, batshit crazy, dirty pillows, lactating, Milk Mullahs, mommy issues, Oedipus Rex, Saudi clerics, wacky mullahs, WTF?

Seriously, there isn’t a thing we could do or say that would make this any more batshit crazy.

Make Sure You’re Facing East When You Do It: Saudi Clerics Advocate Adult Breast-Feeding – AOL News.

Smaktakula 

From ABC News: Arab Reaction To Muslim Miss USA

20 Thursday May 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Games, General Foolishness, Islam, National Events, People, Race, Scandal, Television

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ABC News, Arab Americans, Arabs, beauty pageant, beauty pageants objectify women!, Detroit, Islam, Lebanese Americans, Miss USA, muslims, pole dancing, Rima Fakih, scandal, The Great Satan, your mother must be very proud

The Great Satan For The Win!

Tighten Your Turbans: Arab Reaction to Miss USA Winner Rima Fakih – ABC News.

Political And Media Elites Surprised, Dismayed By Would-Be Terrorist’s Lack Of Whiteness

07 Friday May 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Christianity, Crime, Culture, General Foolishness, International Relations, Islam, Justice, National Events, National Politics, Political Correctness, Race, Relationships, Religion, Terrorism

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Barack Obama, Contessa Brewer, Eric Holder, Faisal Shahzad, Gitmo, Guantanamo Bay, home-grown terrorism, Islam, Michael Bloomberg, MSNBC, muslims, nanny state, Obama Administration, Obamacare, Political Correctness, Rachel Maddow, radical Islam, Tea Party, teabaggers, Terrorism

By Smaktakula

In the hours following the accidentally foiled Times Square bombing, Washington and the media let the world know just what sort of deranged maniac they were looking for: a disgruntled white guy.  Remember: Timothy McVeigh was white.  So was Ted Kaczynski.  And don’t forget to add Eric Rudolph’s two kills into the shameful annals of American terrorism.

Since then, pretty much every major act of violent terrorism has been committed predominately (by which we mean exclusively) by adherents of Islam*.  The current expectations among fans of Professional International Terrorism (PIT) is that whitey is due for a significant atrocity.

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg apparently believes that as with his legislation regarding which foods New Yorkers can put in their bodies, his own God-given wisdom trumps facts.  Shortly after the incident, the mayor responsibly opined that while he didn’t really have a clue as to what happened, he was confident enough to prognosticate that the would-be mass murderer would turn out to be an American citizen bitter about Obamacare.

Bloomberg’s mistake is a reasonable one considering that the administration and most of the media have been warning that Tea Party radicals were going to try something crazy.  The media has provided substantial proof for these claims, if one accepts incestuously recycled comments from other “journalists” as proof.

The world was shocked to learn that the alleged bad guy, Faisal Shahzad was not white, nor was he Christian.  He was not a Republican, and apparently did not play college-level lacrosse.

After Shahzad’s lack of Christian whiteness was discovered, MSNBC spokesperson Contessa Brewer expressed dismay that the failed bomber was Islamic, claiming that certain groups would use that fact to their own racist ends.  Presumably this entails spreading the false rumor that people of Islamic faith make poor terrorists.  This is especially galling since Islamic terrorists are considered the cream of the crop when it comes to murderous thugs.

Brewer later backpedalled on her Facebook site, saying she simply didn’t want the terrorist to be of a specific race.  It’s just that there was a specific race and/or religious preference that she didn’t want it to be.

In virtually the same breath, Brewer attempts to justify her statements by pointing to Bloomberg’s latest statements, admonishing Americans not to take out their anger on Pakistani Muslims.  The fact that no major acts of violence against American muslims have occurred since 9/11 is a testament to the efficacy of this sort of pedantic, self-righteous nagging.

Still, until the Obama adminstration and the friendly press can return to the narrative of the white Christian as Public Enemy Number 1, there are going to be some downcast faces:

Thought That White Christian Prisoners Would Help Diversify Gitmo

Say WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!?

This Guy Is Totally Bummed

Hopefully the next terrorist will look like this:

Why Is She So Full Of Hate?

Otherwise it’ll really screw up the narrative.

*Promethean Times wishes to stress our firm stance that Islam is a religion of peace.  Every right-thinking person knows that it is only because of a few misguided individuals and a great many Western bigots that people have this hugely incorrect view of Muslims. Therefore, we feel that any retaliatory action against Promethean Times, including but not limited to fatwas, jihads and other assorted beefs, would be unwarranted.  Not that any Islamic person would perpetrate an act of violence–please see the first sentence in this note regarding Islam being a religion of peace.  But just so we’re clear, if Islamic people were the type to start killing people who said things with which they disagreed (and again, we’re not saying that they are–Religion of Peace!  Religion of Peace!), hopefully they wouldn’t feel the need to revenge themselves against Promethean Times.  Although undoubtedly we have done something to deserve it, for which we are most grievously sorry.  As-Salamu Alaykum

Village Massacres Shake Uneasy Nigeria

12 Friday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Africa, Christianity, Crime, Islam, Religion, World Affairs

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Tags

Christianity, Christians, George Clooney, Goodluck Jonathan, Green Day, Islam, James Bond, muslims, Niger, Nigeria, Nigerian massacre, U2, village massacres, Wall Street Journal, WSJ

Nigeria (not to be confused with its similar sounding and similarly-troubled neighbor Niger) is experiencing more religious violence between Muslims and Christians.         

Since the unrest in Nigeria has yet to attain Third-World-Crisis-of-the-Moment status, it languishes in the doldrums of global anonymity.  Lacking a Green Day song or an impassioned plea by George Clooney, the religious violence in Nigeria will likely go on unabated.         

This quote from the article helps to illustrate just how deep the hostilities run within Nigeria:         

An elderly woman prayed at the edge of the burial pit, chanting. “By God’s grace we will enter their villages and kill their women and children,” she repeated.      

Adding to Nigeria’s sinister-quotient is the vice president (and current acting president), Goodluck Jonathan.  Not only does Mr. Jonathan have the perfect name to be the arch-villain’s freakish henchman in a James Bond film, he’s got the right look, too.    

"No, Mr. Bond--I Expect You To Die"

 Read About It Before U2 Sings About It: Village Massacres Shake Uneasy Nigeria – WSJ.com.   

Smaktakula 

They’ve Got The Wrong Gadahn Guy!

07 Sunday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Asia, Crime, Islam, Military, National Events, People, Terrorism, World Affairs

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Adam Gadahn, al Qaeda, al Qaeda stooge, American al Qaeda, Azzam al-Amriki, Islam, mistaken identity, muslims, Pakistan, propaganda, propagandist, syphilitic frogs, traitor, treason, United States of America, US-born al Qaeda, Yahya Majadin Adams

Treasonous al Qaeda stooge and American washout Adam Gadahn, who performs under the stage name Azzam al-Amriki, was reported captured earlier today.

It’s now being reported that while an important al Qaeda figure was captured, it wasn’t Gadahn.  The actual detainee may have closely resembled the American-born propagandist Gadahn, in which case the captured fighter is most likely a syphilitic frog.

I Sold Out My Country And All I Got For It Was This Lousy Tablecloth

Read about the hilarious identity mix up here and here.

Smaktakula

Times Online: Turkey Recalls Ambassador After US Genocide Vote

05 Friday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Asia, Christianity, Europe, History, Islam, Justice, Middle East, Military, Political Correctness, Politics, Religion, World Affairs

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Tags

1915, Armenia, Armenian Genocide, Armenian Holocaust, genocide, House Committee on Foreign Affairs, Islam, Islamic Republic, massacre, Muslim, Ottoman Empire, pogrom, Turkey, Turkish, Turks, United States of America, US Ambassador

Despite pleas from the Obama Administration, the House Committee on Foreign Affairs has voted to label Turkey’s 1915 pogrom against Armenians as a genocide.

From a strategic standpoint, this is madness.  The Turks have already made clear their feelings on the issue, and to persist in this course risks alienating our closest Muslim ally (Turkey, it should be noted, is a model among predominately Muslim nations for its staunchly secular government).  Moreover, the raising of this issue now risks undermining recent overtures between Turkey and Armenia.

Conversely, Turkey’s argument is that the 1915 massacres did not constitute a genocide, claiming that the death statistics have been exaggerated.  While that is indeed very likely, it is a specious argument.  A genocide is both a deliberate and a systematic elimination of a people.  It is a crime of intent, and the relative size of the body count doesn’t matter.

Turkey Shoot Here: Turkey recalls ambassador after US vote on Armenia ‘genocide’ – Times Online.

Smaktakula

From Times Online: Muslim Woman Refuses Body Scan

05 Friday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Europe, Islam, Political Correctness, Religion, Terrorism, World Affairs

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

air travel, body scan, Islam, Islamic faith, Manchester Airport, muslims, religious freedom, security, UK, United Kingdom

An unnamed Muslim woman at Manchester Airport in the UK is thought to be the first person to refuse a mandatory body scan.  Rather than submit to the scan, the woman forfeited her plane ticket.

Promethean Times wholeheartedly supports this woman’s brave display of religious conviction, and is pleased that the issue was resolved to the satisfaction of all parties.  The woman didn’t have to abrogate the tenets of her faith, nor Manchester Airport its security.  It’s apparent that the unnamed passenger understands that airline travel is a privilege, and not a right. 

Read About The Slow Boat To Mecca: Muslim woman refuses body scan at airport – Times Online.

Smaktakula
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