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Daily Archives: November 1, 2010

Katy And Russell’s Exciting Temporary Marriage

01 Monday Nov 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Elmo, Elmo is a dangerous enemy, Katy Perry, love triangles, marriage, Robert Smith, Russell Brand, temporary marriages, testosterone, The Cure, unfunny comedians

By Smaktakula

Surely You're Used To It By Now: Beautiful Women Can't Resist Grimy Douchebags.

Loveliest-girl-in-all-the-world Katy Perry recently married unfunny British career-killer Russell Brand in an ostentatious ceremony in India.

Brand, most famous for boasting on-air about diddling the granddaughter of a British actor, is said to be hanging up his career as a Lothario and eager to settle down to family life.

Russell Brand: What The Cure's Robert Smith Might Look Like If His Body Produced Testosterone.

Promethean Times is delighted by this union, and wishes the lovely couple a lifetime of wonderful memories.

Not everyone is so happy, however:

"Bitch, You're Trippin'. Be A Good Girl And Come On Home Before Elmo Has To Lose His Shit And Choke Himself A Hairy English Motherfucker."

Fan Mail From MiLo

01 Monday Nov 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity, Culture

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

anti-catholic, anti-poor, bad parents, Biblical scholars, famous for nothing, Jon Gosselin, left-wing, Lindsay Lohan's father, Massengill disposable douche, Michael Lohan, Michael Lohan is a turd with eyes, MiLo, Octomom, parasites, Periplaneta lohanis, right-wing, stupid people, thin-skinned

A Very Special Message From The Promethean Times Staff

We've Got Mail! YAAAAAAAY!

We enjoy receiving comments and email from our readers.  We’re glad that we made you laugh or think, and we really do appreciate your kind words.

However, readers may be shocked to know that not all the feedback we receive is positive.  Sometimes, someone will disagree with something he or she reads in  Promethean Times, and takes the time to tell us about it.  It goes without saying that these people are evil, and quite possibly child-molesters–but we do listen to what they have to say.

Of one post, a reader observed, “It’s just too good a laugh to let facts get in the way.”  Another asked, “It’s easy to be part of the journalism problem by only focusing on things that damn people rather than the full story — isn’t it?”

Michael Lohan Is Apparently More Committed To Biblical Scholarship Than To Standardized Spelling.

We have been called right-wing, left-wing, anti-poor, anti-catholic, small-minded, deliberately misleading and a few other charges that are at best half-truths.  Nonetheless, we appreciate these comments, too. They may be way off-base, but at least somebody’s reading.

Recently, Promethean Times was honored to receive fan mail from an honest-to-goodness Hollywood celebrity.  We have worked diligently to cultivate a persona of jaded cynicism, but it’s hard to do anything but stand up and take notice when an entertainment personality the caliber of Michael “MiLo” Lohan sends a fan letter.

If We Could Just Get Octomom In This Picture, The Freakshow Troika Would Be Complete.

Upon reading our whimsical piece, Happy Thoughts For Tuesday: Thank God Michael Lohan Isn’t Your Dad, Mike posted a comment to let us know he was profoundly moved by what we had written, and was kind enough to share some Scripture.  Here’s Mike’s comment in its entirety:

With a heart as dark and evil as yours , you will burn in hell if you dont change. Judge not, lest you shall be judged. And Do unto others as would have them do unto you. Did you ever hear those proverbial wordss?
If not, which it appears you haven’t, learn them

Wow.  Thanks a lot, Mike–we really appreciate it.  PT is a labor of love, and we’re warmed by the knowledge that a big-name star like yourself might inadvertently stumble across us while compulsively googling his own name.

"I'm Michael Lohan, And I Approved This Message."

Come back & see us soon, Mike!

And you too.

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