• Get To Know Promethean Times!
  • Magnificent Bastards
  • Douchebags Emeritus

Promethean Times

~ A Collection of Oddities Calculated to Amuse, Enlighten and Horrify.

Promethean Times

Daily Archives: November 4, 2010

People Of Size Undeserving Of Your Scorn

04 Thursday Nov 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Stupidity

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

addiction, America's inability to say NO, apology, baleen whales, bloggers, CBS, childhood obesity, chubby chasers, evil corporations, fast food, fat people, girthophobia, intolerance, irresponsibility, life in North Korea sure is shitty!, Marie Claire, Maura Kelly, Mike and Molly, North Korea, obesity, people of size, Pizza the Hut, plumper porn, poor self-esteem, shifting blame, sizeism, Smaktakula's hypocrisy can sometimes be astounding, trans-fats, waddling grotesquery, War on Fat, Why am I so fat?

By Smaktakula

In A Perfect World Parents Would Have Another Option For Feeding Their Children. If Only There Were Some Kind Of Market Where Parents Could Purchase Fresh, Wholesome Food To Prepare For Their Children, That Would Be Super.

Recently, a blogger for Marie Claire was compelled to issue an abject apology after making derogatory comments about people of size.  In a scathing review of CBS‘ new fat show, Mike and Molly, columnist Maura Kelly called fat people “aesthetically displeasing,” and compared obesity to an addiction.  The nationwide eruption of hurt feelings took Marie Claire’s editors by surprise, and after some fumbling, they distanced themselves from the story and presumably forced Kelly’s apology.

It’s laughable to think that a simple act of contrition can exculpate either Kelly or Marie Claire for this deplorable instance of intolerance.  People of size may have massive, quivering bodies, but their self-esteem is by contrast as delicate as a sugar sculpture.  By shattering it, Kelly has only served to drive these waddling grotesqueries back into the cool, comforting embrace of the refrigerator in a vain effort to exorcise their pain.  The blogger should not only be fired, but also subjected to some sort of sensitivity-increasing exercise, such as the forced viewing of plumper porn.

Really? You'd Like To See These Two Baleen Going At It?

Kelly’s supporters argue that like drug addiction, eating disorders are medically recognized conditions, and that the writer’s opinions echo those of medical science.  Moreover, they’re likely to point to the fact that outside of fetishists, most people are turned off by fleshy truckloads of undulant blubber.

But She Has A Great Sense Of Humor.

These excuses betray the rotten logic of girthophobes.  Just because something is true doesn’t mean it should be said, if saying it means portraying an individual’s lifestyle choices as within his control.  Kelly is doing nothing more than blaming the individual for the situation in which he has put himself.

He Remains Curiously Unsympathetic To America's Obesity Epidemic.

The War On Fat is already lost.  The winners are the fast-food and processed food industries, who are in business for no other reason than to make money.  To flog their products, these companies stoop to advertising during children’s programming, and often include toys with their products.  These companies are perpetrating a modern Holocaust, preying on America’s inability to say NO.

Which is why the government will soon have to step in to provide the NO.  Once trans-fats, sodium, corn syrup and other dangerous additives have been removed from the American diet, the obesity epidemic should waste away like a North Korean peasant.  Until then, the disgustingly obese deserve to be treated with tolerance: they can’t help it.

Except For The Healthy Lifestyle Choices And The Hours Upon Hours In The Gym, Brad Pitt's Physique Is A Matter Of Pure Luck.

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

The Best Of Times

  • Historical Figures With Unfortunate Nicknames: 'Black Dick' Howe
  • Commercials We Do Not Like: Bad Andy
  • Belgians: The World's Most Evil People
  • One-Legged Hag Refuses To Let Senility Destroy Her Dreams Of Second-Time Motherhood
  • Headlines: Great Big Boobs & A Phyllis Diller Smile
  • Shelly The Parasitic Yoko of Pervert Alley
  • People Actually Believe That? Ramtha And The Lizard-Beasts Of Mt. Rainier
  • Douchebags Emeritus

Dumb Stuff We Say On Twitter:

Tweets by prometheantimes

Recent Times

  • Teachable Moments
  • The Garden-Destroying Cross-Lot Food Fight
  • My Beef With That One Guy From ‘Fast Times At Ridgemont High’
  • Shelly The Parasitic Yoko of Pervert Alley
  • Welcome To Pervert Alley
  • A Profoundly Philosophical Question
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part III
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part II
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part I
  • Headlines: In Which No Puppies Were Harmed Or Abducted
  • Profiles in Loutishness
  • Bet Your Bottom Dollar That Tomorrow
  • Mea Culpa: 55 Cent
  • Goat Mayo
  • Headlines: More News We Don’t Understand
  • The Aging Gunslinger
  • Hungarian Fone Kard
  • Fresh Socks For Homeless Walter
  • I’m An Ass, And I’m Sorry
  • Headlines: I Was A Caveman’s Love-Puppet
  • Untruth & Consequences: Debriefing
  • To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before
  • My Missing Medal
  • Promethean Times Questions Existence Of Sri Lanka
  • Headlines: Shaking And Stirred

WORD.

Adolf Hitler Afghanistan Africa anti-semitism bad parents Barack Obama Baseball bigotry Bill Clinton California Canada cannabis Celebrity Death Watch childish sexual innuendo China cocaine comical despots dope douchebaggery drugs famous for nothing fat people foolish choices fun with stereotypes gay people Germany gold digger grass headlines helpful hints hemp homosexuality hypocrisy impoverished third-world hellhole Iran Islam jackassery Japan Kim Jong-il LiLo Lindsay Lohan Los Angeles Dodgers marijuana Mexico Muammar al-Gaddafi mullets muslims North Korea outright lies places that suck pot racism reefer religious intolerance skankery skanks Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French Smaktakula's distrust of short people Smaktakula's hypocrisy can sometimes be astounding stupid people sweet sweet cheeba Tardsie's True-Ass Tales that trick never works the French this day in history treachery true meanings of holidays United Kingdom United States of America untalented stars weed Where Are They Now? Why am I so fat? Why am I so stupid? you got a real purty mouth

Promethean History

November 2010
M T W T F S S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930  
« Oct   Dec »

Search The Prometheosphere

Recent Comments

Vivek Golikeri on Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong…
Tim on People Actually Believe That?…
Anonymous on Commercials We Do Not Like: Me…
Dudley on Diff’rent Strokes Curse…
Anonymous on Commercials We Do Not Like: Me…
Smaktakula on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
David on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
Rackuzius on Brilliant, Dirty Weirdo Said T…
Smaktakula on Teachable Moments
Yoshihiko Motaro on Teachable Moments
Anonymous on Words Never To Use: N****…
Alex C on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
Usman Makhdoom on Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong…
Lary James on Untruth & Consequences: Do…
Jay on Teachable Moments

Tardsie D. Bagg

Smaktakula

Networked Blogs

NetworkedBlogs
Blog:
Promethean Times
Topics:
Satire, Irreverence, Snarkery
 
Follow my blog

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • Promethean Times
    • Join 459 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Promethean Times
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar