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By Smaktakula

Surely You're Used To It By Now: Beautiful Women Can't Resist Grimy Douchebags.

Loveliest-girl-in-all-the-world Katy Perry recently married unfunny British career-killer Russell Brand in an ostentatious ceremony in India.

Brand, most famous for boasting on-air about diddling the granddaughter of a British actor, is said to be hanging up his career as a Lothario and eager to settle down to family life.

Russell Brand: What The Cure's Robert Smith Might Look Like If His Body Produced Testosterone.

Promethean Times is delighted by this union, and wishes the lovely couple a lifetime of wonderful memories.

Not everyone is so happy, however:

"Bitch, You're Trippin'. Be A Good Girl And Come On Home Before Elmo Has To Lose His Shit And Choke Himself A Hairy English Motherfucker."