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By The Promethean Times Editorial Staff

Once You've Seen This Punch Line, Ours Don't Look So Bad.

The punch lines to some of our very favorite jokes:

  • Because it was dead.
  • Natalie Wood.
  • “Fuck you, Clown!”
  • “I totally know what you mean.  The other night at the dinner table, I meant to say to my wife, ‘Honey, would you please pass the green beans?‘ but what I actually said was, ‘You fucking bitch!  You’re ruining my life!
  • Your trashcan’s empty and your dog is pregnant.

He'll Do Right By Muffy. It's Not Like A Frenchman To Renege On An Obligation.

  • “Not rice again!”
  • “Git offa me, Pa!–Yer crushin’ mah smokes!”
  • Really?–Wanna go camping?
  • Mega-sore-ass.
  • “MOOOO!”

Actually, There Are Two Great Jokes With "MOOOO!" As Their Punchline, And One Of Them Is Clean.

  • Not being retarded.
  • You use one to swat the flies swarming around the other.
  • “Coach.”
  • So the guy from Texas says, “Remember the Alamo!” and then tosses the Mexican dude out the door.
  • Smurf cum.

Attempts To Sneak Money-Shot Smurf Past The FCC Censors Proved Unsuccessful, Ending In A Sticky, Embarrassing Mess.