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Category Archives: Baseball

Pissing Away Money Is The New National Pastime

16 Friday Apr 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Baseball, Constitutional Issues, Culture, Drugs, General Foolishness, Health, National Events, Political Correctness, Politics, Sports, Television

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Barack Obama, Barry Bonds, Barry Obama, chaw, chewing tobacco, congress, dip, douchebaggery, government waste, grandstanding, Jerry Springer, MLB, National Pastime, pissing away money, profligate spending, Rep. Frank Pallone, smoking Obama, snuff, spit, tobacco

A Douche Against Dip: A Lot Like Jerry Springer, But With Less Dignity

  

Apparently taking to heart the concept of America spending its way out of recession, a NJ congressman is calling for a hearing regarding the use of tobacco Major League Baseball.         

Rep. Frank Pallone (D-N.J.), who helms the energy and commerce health subcommittee, said that the practice provides a poor example to young people who are baseball fans.         

 

The disastrous effect seeing a handful of athletes engage in a disgusting habit might have on America’s impressionable children aside, it’s not clear why the grandstanding representative thinks the government should have any say regarding the use of a legal product by adults.         

Now it might be different if the baseball players drew their salaries from the public dime, like this guy:       

No, I Said Barry BONDS Shouldn't Smoke.

Won’t Somebody Please Think Of The Children!?!: Congressman to hold hearing into baseball and chewing tobacco.

Promethean Times Heartily Regrets Giving Milton Bradley The Benefit Of The Doubt

12 Monday Apr 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Baseball, General Foolishness, People, Sports, Television

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Tags

asshat, douchebaggery, flip off, flip the bird, middle finger, Milton Bradley, rude gesture, Seattle Mariners, Texas Fans, Texas Rangers, the Ballpark at Arlington, vulgar gesture

By Smaktakula
Seattle’s Milton Bradley gives the finger to Texas fans.
 
Who’s dumb enough to believe that an asshat like Milton Bradley could or would comport himself in a manner befitting a professional athlete?
 
Promethean Times, that’s who!
 
Thanks for making us look stupid, Milt.

I Am An Unrepentant Asshat

Yeah–Fuck you, too.

2010 Seattle Mariners Commercials

22 Monday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Baseball, Commercials, Sports, Television

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

2010 Seattle Mariners commercials, Baseball, Cliff Lee, Ichiro, Ichiro Suzuki, Ken Griffey Jr., love that dare not speak its name, Milton Bradley, Seattle Mariners

Despite how it may appear, Ken Griffey Jr. and Ichiro Suzuki are not expressing the love which dare not speak its name–at least not explicitly.  This is just one of several amusing 2010 Seattle Mariners commercials (with bloopers):

For a while now the Seattle Mariners have been producing excellent commercials featuring both high production values and also a folksy, small-market vibe.

This year’s offerings include Cliff Lee as “The Man With Two First Names,” “The Bullpen Abomination” and “Griffey Chats With Ichiro.” 

If at least a few things go right for Seattle in 2010 (hopefully the news that peevish outfielder Milton Bradley has already been tossed twice in the preseason is not an omen of rough seas ahead), the Mariners look like they might be ready to challenge to challenge in the AL West.  With a little luck, the team’s commercials may not be the highlight of the 2010 season.

Smaktakula

Ron Washington Makes Requisite Cocaine Apology

19 Friday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Baseball, Culture, Drug Culture, Drugs, General Foolishness, Health, People, Political Correctness, Scandal, Sports

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

A-Rod, Alex Rodgriguez, anabolic steroids, cocaine, George W. Bush, hypocrisy, Jose Canseco, Ken Caminiti, MLB, Ron Washington, Texas Rangers

The Age of the Enforced Apology continues.                    

Texas Rangers Manager Ron Washington apologized for testing positive for cocaine last summer.  Our celebrity-obsessed society dictates that what would be an embarrassing episode for a private citizen, must become an excercise in self-flagellation for anyone who appears on television more than twice a year.  This is not only hypocritical and hurtful, but pointless.           

Our sympathies lie with Mr. Washington.  There is this bit of sticky business, however:                    

Washington said that he used the drug one time and it’s the only time he has used cocaine in his life.                    

Wha?  Who tries coke for the first time at 57 years old?  Really–who does that?  Ron, we’re on your side here, but don’t treat us like we’re idiots.                   

Ron Washington is not the only person associated with the Texas Rangers to have grappled with drug issues:                    

Player 2001-2003: Steroids

Player 1992-1994: Steroids & Probably More

Player 2001: Just About Everything

Owner 1989-1994: Alcohol & Cocaine

See If You Accept Ron’s Apology: Washington apologizes for cocaine use | MLB.com: News.               

 Smaktakula

Big League Stew: Torii Hunter Calls Black Latino Players Imposters

11 Thursday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Baseball, Culture, General Foolishness, Political Correctness, Race, Sports, Television

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Tags

African-American baseball players, Big League Stew, black baseball players, black Latino, boneheaded, douchebaggery, imposters, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, Major League Baseball, MLB, race in baseball, race in sports, race relations, racism, racist, Torri Hunter

Torii Hunter’s comments about race in baseball are not typically this boneheaded.  “Boneheaded” is what we call it when a person of color says something like this.  “Racist” is what we call it when a white person says it.  

While participating in USA Today’s roundtable on the state of baseball, Hunter floated a theory that baseball uses dark-skinned players from countries like the Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico and Venezuela to give an appearance that it has more African-Americans playing the game than it really does. 

But, Hunter says in a controversial money quote, “they’re not us, they’re impostors.” 

No Imposter: Torii Hunter Is A For Reals Black Person

 Analysis of Torii’s Bonehead Moment Here: Torii Hunter believes black Latino players are ‘impostors’ – Big League Stew – MLB Blog – Yahoo! Sports. 

Smaktakula

Milton Bradley’s 2010 Tune: It Ain’t Me, Babe

07 Sunday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Baseball, People, Sports

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Chicago Cubs, clubhouse cancer, clubhouse poison, Major League Baseball, Milton Bradley, MLB, Seattle Mariners, Seattle PI, Spring Training

Several days ago Promethean Times opined optimistically on Milton Bradley’s coming year in Seattle.  While it’s still too early for hand-wringing, Bradley’s seeming inability to take any responsibility for the toxic situation in Chicago (and presumably San Diego, Los Angeles and Cleveland before that) is troubling.

Read In The Seattle PI About Milton Not Manning Up: Bradley: Blame Chicago for struggles, not me.

Smaktakula

Can The Pacific Northwest Cool Bradley?

25 Thursday Feb 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Baseball, People, Sports

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Brett Tomko, Carlos Silva, Chicago Cubs, Ken Griffey Jr., Los Angeles Dodgers, Lou Piniella, Major League Baseball, Mike Sweeney, Milton Bradley, MLB, Pacific Northwest, San Diego Padres, Seattle Mariners

By Smaktakula

Sir, I Beg To Differ

The unfortunately named and often irascible Milton Bradley is a Seattle Mariner, coming over from the Chicago Cubs in an offseason trade for the underperforming Carlos Silva.  This trade has a tremendous upside for both clubs, and for both players.  The Mariners and Cubs have each shed a player who had become a cancer on the clubhouse, as in Bradley’s case, or an overpaid bust like Silva.  For both players, the switch to a new team means a fresh start.    

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