• Get To Know Promethean Times!
  • Magnificent Bastards
  • Douchebags Emeritus

Promethean Times

~ A Collection of Oddities Calculated to Amuse, Enlighten and Horrify.

Promethean Times

Tag Archives: celebrity breakups

Jenny McCarthy: All Growed Up

22 Friday Oct 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity, Culture, Stupidity

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

autism, B-Lister, celebrity breakups, celebrity/statesman, Chinese food and Chinese people not always the same thing, Dancing With The Stars, has-been, In fairness we should add that Ms. McCarthy is a high school graduate, Jenny McCarthy, Jim Carrey, MILFs, People Magazine, stupid people, untalented stars

By Smaktakula

MILFy autism activist Jenny McCarthy is growing as a person.  After her five-year relationship with tiresome Canadian import Jim Carrey ended, McCarthy found a new love and a new way of looking at life.

Although She Will Miss The Glamor Of Dating A B-Lister, McCarthy Is No Doubt Relieved To Now Have Only One Mentally Disabled Child Under Her Roof.

By her own admission, McCarthy has spent most of her 37 years as something akin to a mindless automaton, a virtual slave to the whims of others.  But now McCarthy is learning the assertiveness which most human beings over the age of three take for granted.

Gushes the talentless pair of boobs to People Magazine:

“If he wants Chinese [food]* and I don’t, I say it,” she says. “If he wants to go out and I want to stay in and watch Dancing with the Stars, I tell him so.

Although McCarthy is not satisfied with her progress, she intends to take it slow.  “Roman wasn’t built in a day,” she says.  After the hiatus–which she says will be brief–McCarthy intends to do something about her woefully inadequate sixth grade education.

"HURRRRR!"

*This helpful clarification was apparently intended to prevent People readers from taking McCarthy’s comment to be an endorsement of Sino-cannibalism. Promethean Times does not support race-based cannibalism of any kind.

 

Things Worth Hoping For: Bert and Ernie

26 Thursday Aug 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Crime, Critters, Culture, General Foolishness, Hollywood, Humor, People, Relationships, Television

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Bert, Bert & Ernie, Bert is the man, celebrity breakups, Celebrity Death Watch, celebrity deaths, domestic violence, Ernie, firearm-related homicides, good manners, muppet-on-muppet violence, murder, proper behavior, Sesame Street, spousal abuse, the love which dare not speak its name

By Smaktakula

Even love has its limits.  How much longer can Bert endure Ernie’s unending cavalcade of tedious bullshit?   

Because Playing The Drums At 2 AM When Your Lover Is Trying To Sleep Is Very Rude, Ernie. Very, Very Rude.

Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy Split

15 Monday Mar 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Hollywood, Movies, People, Relationships, Television

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Bing Crosby, Bob Hope, celebrity breakups, Corey Feldman, Corey Haim, Fel-Dog, Haimster, Hollywood breakups, Jamie Kennedy, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Katherine Hepburn, obscure celebrities, People Magazine, Spencer Tracy

According to People, it’s true.    

If Haim & Feldman were Gen X’s unrecognized Hope & Crosby, then perhaps the union of Hewitt and Kennedy produced Generation Y’s Tracy and Hepburn.   

Jamie & Jennifer During Happier Times

Hopefully fans’ grief will be mitigated somewhat the knowledge that while this news is certainly dismal, it is proof that the two are still alive.    

Wait–who are Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy again?    

Find Out At The Same Time Promethean Times Does: Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy Split – Breakups, Jamie Kennedy, Jennifer Love Hewitt : People.com.   

Smaktakula

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

The Best Of Times

  • Belgians: The World's Most Evil People
  • Incest: On The Other Hand...

Dumb Stuff We Say On Twitter:

Tweets by prometheantimes

Recent Times

  • Teachable Moments
  • The Garden-Destroying Cross-Lot Food Fight
  • My Beef With That One Guy From ‘Fast Times At Ridgemont High’
  • Shelly The Parasitic Yoko of Pervert Alley
  • Welcome To Pervert Alley
  • A Profoundly Philosophical Question
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part III
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part II
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part I
  • Headlines: In Which No Puppies Were Harmed Or Abducted
  • Profiles in Loutishness
  • Bet Your Bottom Dollar That Tomorrow
  • Mea Culpa: 55 Cent
  • Goat Mayo
  • Headlines: More News We Don’t Understand
  • The Aging Gunslinger
  • Hungarian Fone Kard
  • Fresh Socks For Homeless Walter
  • I’m An Ass, And I’m Sorry
  • Headlines: I Was A Caveman’s Love-Puppet
  • Untruth & Consequences: Debriefing
  • To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before
  • My Missing Medal
  • Promethean Times Questions Existence Of Sri Lanka
  • Headlines: Shaking And Stirred

WORD.

Adolf Hitler Afghanistan Africa anti-semitism bad parents Barack Obama Baseball bigotry Bill Clinton California Canada cannabis Celebrity Death Watch childish sexual innuendo China cocaine comical despots dope douchebaggery drugs famous for nothing fat people foolish choices fun with stereotypes gay people Germany gold digger grass headlines helpful hints hemp homosexuality hypocrisy impoverished third-world hellhole Iran Islam jackassery Japan Kim Jong-il LiLo Lindsay Lohan Los Angeles Dodgers marijuana Mexico Muammar al-Gaddafi mullets muslims North Korea outright lies places that suck pot racism reefer religious intolerance skankery skanks Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French Smaktakula's distrust of short people Smaktakula's hypocrisy can sometimes be astounding stupid people sweet sweet cheeba Tardsie's True-Ass Tales that trick never works the French this day in history treachery true meanings of holidays United Kingdom United States of America untalented stars weed Where Are They Now? Why am I so fat? Why am I so stupid? you got a real purty mouth

Promethean History

December 2025
M T W T F S S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031  
« Oct    

Search The Prometheosphere

Recent Comments

Vivek Golikeri's avatarVivek Golikeri on Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong…
Tim's avatarTim on People Actually Believe That?…
Unknown's avatarAnonymous on Commercials We Do Not Like: Me…
Dudley's avatarDudley on Diff’rent Strokes Curse…
Unknown's avatarAnonymous on Commercials We Do Not Like: Me…
Smaktakula's avatarSmaktakula on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
David's avatarDavid on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
Rackuzius's avatarRackuzius on Brilliant, Dirty Weirdo Said T…
Smaktakula's avatarSmaktakula on Teachable Moments
Yoshihiko Motaro's avatarYoshihiko Motaro on Teachable Moments
Unknown's avatarAnonymous on Words Never To Use: N****…
Alex C's avatarAlex C on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
Usman Makhdoom's avatarUsman Makhdoom on Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong…
Lary James's avatarLary James on Untruth & Consequences: Do…
Jay's avatarJay on Teachable Moments

Tardsie D. Bagg

Unknown's avatar

Smaktakula

Unknown's avatar

Networked Blogs

NetworkedBlogs
Blog:
Promethean Times
Topics:
Satire, Irreverence, Snarkery
 
Follow my blog

Blog at WordPress.com.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
  • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Promethean Times
    • Join 457 other subscribers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Promethean Times
    • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...