Tags
androgynous kids are creepy, awful musicians, Celebrity Death Watch, hairless hit factory, Justin Bieber, Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever: My Story, moppet, pop culture, pop phenom, societal carcinoma, stupid shit little girls like, that's expire not retire, you do know that's two colons right?, you got a real purty mouth
By Smaktakula
Sixteen-year-old pop moppet Justin Bieber has announced the upcoming release of his ridiculously-titled photo memoir, Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever: My Story.
Promethean Times joins the rest of the adult world in urgently hoping this news indicates that the adorable societal carcinoma has made plans to expire in the very near future.
This Photo Will Be Perfect For The Inquest.
Promethean Times 
You know if I am ever in the car, and a Justin Bieber song does come on, my hands automatically look for a pen or a pencil to jam into my ears, just to make the pain go away.
You COULD do that. OR you could jam a pencil into JB’s ear.
If I was a twelve year old girl, I know for certain I’d have that goober’s face plastered all over my room. Because I was that kind of twelve year old girl back in the day who would do shit like that. I would probably cry myself to sleep too, knowing that no one would EVER love him as much as I do. And then I would practice french-kissing my pillow.
Hmm, yes, “IF” you were a twelve-year-old girl you “Would.” You make no mention of whether you would–or do–perform those same Bieber Stalking rituals at your current age and gender?