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Daily Archives: August 31, 2010

Jimmy Carter Makes Modest Headway In Ongoing Bid For Historical Relevance

31 Tuesday Aug 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Asia, Crime, History, International Relations, Justice, National Events, People, Politics, Relationships, World Affairs

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

Aijalon Gomes, Bill Clinton, Bill vs. Jimmy, comical despots, do-gooders, Euna Lee, Habitat For Humanity, historical footnote, historical footnotes, hostages freed, I just called 'em both 'LingLee.', ineffectual presidents, Jimmy Carter, Kim Jong-il, Laura Ling, North Korea, one-termers, President Carter, President Clinton, skonks, Slick Willy

By Smaktakula

Historical footnote Jimmy Carter has managed to secure the release of Aijalon Gomes from North Korea.  Gomes had been sentenced to eight years hard labor under the autocratic regime of the dying, but still comically despotic Kim Jong-il.

Showing America's Soft Underbelly To Her Enemies Didn't Do It, And Building Houses For The Needy Didn't Do It Either. Perhaps Freeing A Few Hostages Will Help Erase The Stigma Of Being An Ineffectual One-Termer.

Although Carter is unable to claim to be the first white-haired Democratic Ex-President to secure the release of American hostages in North Korea, he is proud to say that he is the first not to bang them on the plane ride home.

"One Was Named Lee And The Other Ling, But I'll Tell You What, Brother--I Was Damned If I Could Tell The Difference!"

Manny Ramirez Now Chicago’s Problem

31 Tuesday Aug 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Baseball, Culture, Games, National Events, People, Sports

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

American League, anabolic steroids, Baseball, baseball trades, cheaters, Chicago White Sox, cleared waivers, female fertility hormones, good riddance, human choronic gonadotrophin, Los Angeles Dodgers, Major League Baseball, Manny Ramirez, Minnesota Twins, MLB, National League, really huge knockers

By Smaktakula

The Chicago White Sox claimed Manny Ramirez on Monday off waivers from the Los Angeles Dodgers.

The White Sox hope that the rapidly aging abuser of female fertility hormones will be able to deliver enough with his bat to make the difference in their increasingly desperate battle with the Minnesota Twins for first place in the American League Central.

The moment is bittersweet for the Dodgers, bringing to close a sometimes-exciting, sometimes-frustrating era of dreadlocked douchebaggery.  Sadly for the Dodgers and their fans, unreliable space-waster George Sherrill still remains.

Ramirez Explains That Gobbling Human Choronic Gonadotropin Gave Him "Really Huge Knockers."

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