blond guys with dreads look like idiots, blond men, cultural dilution, cultural heritage, cultural theft, douchebaggery, dreadlocks, dreadmullet, dreads, filthy macrame, forced to diddle Lilith Fair chicks, hygiene, lhasa apsos, mullet, no hypocrisy, normals, Philosopher's Stone, race, Raggedy Andy, Rastafarianism, when pressed for time Smaktakula eagerly embraces nonsensical cliches like media-driven fishbowl, white man's overbite, white men can't dance
Race has always been a contentious topic, never more so than in today’s overcharged, media-driven fishbowl. Issues of cultural heritage are similarly sensitive. A longstanding and often-fiery debate continues over the question of whether the cultural properties of a race are best kept within the purview of that specific culture, or whether these formerly cultural properties be adopted by the greater culture at large to reach their full significance, thereby risking dilution.
There are no easy answers to this question, and we will not attempt any here. Instead, can we all agree right now that blond guys need to stop wearing their hair in dreadlocks?
Promethean Times fails to see the appeal in going through life with a filthy piece of macramé clinging to your scalp. It would appear that nature agrees with our dim assessment of the hairstyle’s aesthetic value, based on the dubious quality of the soupy pool from which these bipedal lhasa apsos are forced to choose their mates. There are certainly more hygienic ways to attract a mate, and lacking a hairstyle that readily identifies you as a douchebag greatly increases your potential to perform intercourse with a partner who has both an established pattern of bathing and at least a nodding acquaintance with a razor.
There is a danger here more insidious than simply looking like a dickhead. Although cultural watchdogs are particularly vigilant against cultural theft, no one is guarding against the danger that more insipid elements of white culture will find their way into black culture. Witness this disturbing back-door attempt to introduce the mullet into Rastafarian culture:
No blond man, no matter how good-looking, has ever been anything other than a pitiable clown buried under a snarl of dreads. Anyone who thinks that he might be the blond Philosopher’s Stone, gifted with the miraculous ability to transform shit into chic, is dangerously deluded. Unfortunately, until these misguided souls accept that cool-looking dreadlocks are forever denied them,* the rest of us will have to suffer these flesh-and-blood Raggedy Andys.