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Daily Archives: October 20, 2010

The Rescuers Go To Guam

20 Wednesday Oct 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in News, Science

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

brown tree snake, D Day, Disney, George W. Bush, Guam, Hawaii, heroism, Hollywood blockbusters, mice, Mission Accomplished, mongoose, non-native species, Normandy Invasion, serpents, snakes, The Rescuers, US Navy, vermin

By Smaktakula

"Um, Yeah . . . Guam IS Exactly Like Hawaii. You Guys Ready?"

Much like the heroic vermin in Disney’s second-tier kiddiefest, The Rescuers, mice have been asked to save the day.  Their mission: Fly to Guam to combat the brown tree snake, a mildly venomous non-native invader.  It seems the sinister serpent has driven several native species to the brink of extinction, and nothing but a well-timed rodent intervention will stave off disaster.

"What The Hell, Man?" This Mongoose Needs Work.

Because the brown tree snake is arboreal, the action will take place in the canopy high above the jungle floor.  The US Navy has equipped the mouse militia with tiny parachutes, and plans to drop them over Guam in a scene reminiscent of the 1944 Normandy Invasion.

Such a novel and daring campaign can’t help but evoke comparisons to a Hollywood blockbuster.  In sharing so many qualities with The Rescuers, this operation differs from the film in only two minor details: in real life the airborne Rescuers are dead and saturated with snake-killing toxins.

Could You Be An Asshole? Truckbawlz

20 Wednesday Oct 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, Stupidity

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

big trucks, Cashew Dick, childish sexual innuendo, Could you be an asshole?, deez nuts, douchebaggery, hitch nuts, jackassery, little man's syndrome, loser, machismo, macho bullshit, object of ridicule, pitiable braggadocio, so sad, testicle tow hitch, testicles, tiny penis, white trash

By Smaktakula

If you’ve got a swingin’ pair of nuts hanging pendulously from your trailer hitch, then you most definitely are.

Perhaps We Can Help: You Know, The Only Thing That Advertises Your Tiny Penis More Stridently Than A Big 4x4, Is A Big 4x4 With Fake Testicles.

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