• Get To Know Promethean Times!
  • Magnificent Bastards
  • Douchebags Emeritus

Promethean Times

~ A Collection of Oddities Calculated to Amuse, Enlighten and Horrify.

Promethean Times

Daily Archives: October 22, 2010

Historical Figures With Unfortunate Nicknames: Beaver Dick

22 Friday Oct 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, History

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

Beaver Dick, Great Britain, historical signposts, humiliating nicknames, Idaho, Jim Bridger, mountain men, obscure historical figures, Richard Leigh, suggestive nicknames, Tardsie, Tardsie The Backpack, unfortunate nicknames

By Smaktakula

Of the British-born Richard Leigh, who would rise to relative obscurity as the mountain man Beaver Dick, little is known or cared.

Unsurprisingly, When You Type "Beaver" And "Dick" Into A Search Engine, This Is One Of The Few Non-Pornographic Results.

Said to trail in fame only Jim Bridger and a handful of other mountain men no living man can name, Leigh’s humiliating nickname lives on through historical signposts.

Promethean Times' Ombudsman Tardsie The Backpack Traveled A Long Way To Find Beaver Dick.

Fan of shitty nicknames?  You’ll find more here:

  • La Barbie
  • ‘Black Dick’ Howe
  • General Butt-Naked
  • Fugeeman
  • ‘Lil ‘Lil Kim

Jenny McCarthy: All Growed Up

22 Friday Oct 2010

Posted by Smaktakula in Celebrity, Culture, Stupidity

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

autism, B-Lister, celebrity breakups, celebrity/statesman, Chinese food and Chinese people not always the same thing, Dancing With The Stars, has-been, In fairness we should add that Ms. McCarthy is a high school graduate, Jenny McCarthy, Jim Carrey, MILFs, People Magazine, stupid people, untalented stars

By Smaktakula

MILFy autism activist Jenny McCarthy is growing as a person.  After her five-year relationship with tiresome Canadian import Jim Carrey ended, McCarthy found a new love and a new way of looking at life.

Although She Will Miss The Glamor Of Dating A B-Lister, McCarthy Is No Doubt Relieved To Now Have Only One Mentally Disabled Child Under Her Roof.

By her own admission, McCarthy has spent most of her 37 years as something akin to a mindless automaton, a virtual slave to the whims of others.  But now McCarthy is learning the assertiveness which most human beings over the age of three take for granted.

Gushes the talentless pair of boobs to People Magazine:

“If he wants Chinese [food]* and I don’t, I say it,” she says. “If he wants to go out and I want to stay in and watch Dancing with the Stars, I tell him so.

Although McCarthy is not satisfied with her progress, she intends to take it slow.  “Roman wasn’t built in a day,” she says.  After the hiatus–which she says will be brief–McCarthy intends to do something about her woefully inadequate sixth grade education.

"HURRRRR!"

*This helpful clarification was apparently intended to prevent People readers from taking McCarthy’s comment to be an endorsement of Sino-cannibalism. Promethean Times does not support race-based cannibalism of any kind.

 

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

The Best Of Times

  • Belgians: The World's Most Evil People
  • My Freaky Mommy
  • People Actually Believe That? Ramtha And The Lizard-Beasts Of Mt. Rainier
  • Mark Wahlberg Is Nothing Without The Funky Bunch. Nothing!
  • Diff'rent Strokes Curse Remains With Work Undone
  • Nothing But Comebacks
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part I
  • It's April 15th--Don't Forget To Pay The Man
  • Things Worth Hoping For: Bert and Ernie
  • Hef's Former Skank Calls Him "Dead Fish"

Dumb Stuff We Say On Twitter:

  • Teachable Moments prometheantimes.com/2015/10/15/tea… http://t.co/QFzhCOBHaO 5 years ago
  • The Garden-Destroying Cross-Lot Food Fight prometheantimes.com/2015/10/01/the… http://t.co/lY6IVUWzYV 5 years ago
  • My Beef With That One Guy From ‘Fast Times At Ridgemont High’ prometheantimes.com/2015/09/23/my-… http://t.co/izgO4yJppn 5 years ago
  • Shelly The Parasitic Yoko of Pervert Alley prometheantimes.com/2015/08/17/she… http://t.co/0svsAHygLs 5 years ago
  • Welcome To Pervert Alley prometheantimes.com/2015/07/31/wel… http://t.co/tvFvovXjTX 5 years ago
Follow @prometheantimes

Recent Times

  • Teachable Moments
  • The Garden-Destroying Cross-Lot Food Fight
  • My Beef With That One Guy From ‘Fast Times At Ridgemont High’
  • Shelly The Parasitic Yoko of Pervert Alley
  • Welcome To Pervert Alley
  • A Profoundly Philosophical Question
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part III
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part II
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part I
  • Headlines: In Which No Puppies Were Harmed Or Abducted
  • Profiles in Loutishness
  • Bet Your Bottom Dollar That Tomorrow
  • Mea Culpa: 55 Cent
  • Goat Mayo
  • Headlines: More News We Don’t Understand
  • The Aging Gunslinger
  • Hungarian Fone Kard
  • Fresh Socks For Homeless Walter
  • I’m An Ass, And I’m Sorry
  • Headlines: I Was A Caveman’s Love-Puppet
  • Untruth & Consequences: Debriefing
  • To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before
  • My Missing Medal
  • Promethean Times Questions Existence Of Sri Lanka
  • Headlines: Shaking And Stirred

WORD.

Adolf Hitler Afghanistan Africa anti-semitism bad parents Barack Obama Baseball bigotry Bill Clinton California Canada cannabis Celebrity Death Watch childish sexual innuendo China cocaine comical despots dope douchebaggery drugs famous for nothing fat people foolish choices fun with stereotypes gay people Germany gold digger grass headlines helpful hints hemp homosexuality hypocrisy impoverished third-world hellhole Iran Islam jackassery Japan Kim Jong-il LiLo Lindsay Lohan Los Angeles Dodgers marijuana Mexico Muammar al-Gaddafi mullets muslims North Korea outright lies places that suck pot racism reefer religious intolerance skankery skanks Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French Smaktakula's distrust of short people Smaktakula's hypocrisy can sometimes be astounding stupid people sweet sweet cheeba Tardsie's True-Ass Tales that trick never works the French this day in history treachery true meanings of holidays United Kingdom United States of America untalented stars weed Where Are They Now? Why am I so fat? Why am I so stupid? you got a real purty mouth

Promethean History

October 2010
M T W T F S S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep   Nov »

Search The Prometheosphere

Recent Comments

Vivek Golikeri on Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong…
Tim on People Actually Believe That?…
Anonymous on Commercials We Do Not Like: Me…
Dudley on Diff’rent Strokes Curse…
Anonymous on Commercials We Do Not Like: Me…
tomsimard on Sadly, Anne Heche Still L…
Smaktakula on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
David on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
Rackuzius on Brilliant, Dirty Weirdo Said T…
Smaktakula on Teachable Moments
Yoshihiko Motaro on Teachable Moments
Anonymous on Words Never To Use: N****…
Alex C on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
Usman Makhdoom on Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong…
Lary James on Untruth & Consequences: Do…

Tardsie D. Bagg

Smaktakula

Networked Blogs

NetworkedBlogs
Blog:
Promethean Times
Topics:
Satire, Irreverence, Snarkery
 
Follow my blog

Blog at WordPress.com.

Cancel