By Smaktakula

MILFy autism activist Jenny McCarthy is growing as a person.  After her five-year relationship with tiresome Canadian import Jim Carrey ended, McCarthy found a new love and a new way of looking at life.

Although She Will Miss The Glamor Of Dating A B-Lister, McCarthy Is No Doubt Relieved To Now Have Only One Mentally Disabled Child Under Her Roof.

By her own admission, McCarthy has spent most of her 37 years as something akin to a mindless automaton, a virtual slave to the whims of others.  But now McCarthy is learning the assertiveness which most human beings over the age of three take for granted.

Gushes the talentless pair of boobs to People Magazine:

“If he wants Chinese [food]* and I don’t, I say it,” she says. “If he wants to go out and I want to stay in and watch Dancing with the Stars, I tell him so.

Although McCarthy is not satisfied with her progress, she intends to take it slow.  “Roman wasn’t built in a day,” she says.  After the hiatus–which she says will be brief–McCarthy intends to do something about her woefully inadequate sixth grade education.

"HURRRRR!"

*This helpful clarification was apparently intended to prevent People readers from taking McCarthy’s comment to be an endorsement of Sino-cannibalism. Promethean Times does not support race-based cannibalism of any kind.