Tags
Elmo, Elmo is a dangerous enemy, Katy Perry, love triangles, marriage, Robert Smith, Russell Brand, temporary marriages, testosterone, The Cure, unfunny comedians
By Smaktakula
Surely You're Used To It By Now: Beautiful Women Can't Resist Grimy Douchebags.
Loveliest-girl-in-all-the-world Katy Perry recently married unfunny British career-killer Russell Brand in an ostentatious ceremony in India.
Brand, most famous for boasting on-air about diddling the granddaughter of a British actor, is said to be hanging up his career as a Lothario and eager to settle down to family life.
Russell Brand: What The Cure's Robert Smith Might Look Like If His Body Produced Testosterone.
Promethean Times is delighted by this union, and wishes the lovely couple a lifetime of wonderful memories.
Not everyone is so happy, however:
"Bitch, You're Trippin'. Be A Good Girl And Come On Home Before Elmo Has To Lose His Shit And Choke Himself A Hairy English Motherfucker."
Promethean Times 
Crap. I was hoping I would be Katy’s first future ex.
Katy should be available within a few months. The Bad News: She’s been “Branded.”
Hopefully Katy’s agent had one thought in his head: Prenup
We can only hope. Poor Katy probably picked up the clap just from holding hands with the guy.