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By Smaktakula

Corey, We Want To Believe You When You Tell Us You're Maintaining Your Sobriety. But Then You Go And Dress Like That.

Times have been tough for Corey Feldman.  In 2009, Susie Sprague, the actor’s second wife, filed for divorce, seeking custody of their son, the ridiculously-named Zen Feldman.  Last year he was rocked by the death of his long-time pal and bosom mate, Corey Haim.  The Fel-Dog took another cruel blow recently when his beloved studded leather jacket was stolen from the House of Blues.

This is not just any jacket.  In addition to any magical properties it might have garnered through long-term contact with Fel-Dogian excretions, it has great sentimental value to the actor, and can be seen in the poster of the smash-hit Dream A Little Dream.

The 'Citizen Kane' Of Its Day.

Fel-Dog, an accomplished musician himself, was at the venue to support his butt-rocking pals, Steel Panther.  According to witnesses, a huge crowd rushed backstage, and when it dispersed, the jacket was gone as well.  Fel-Dog is said to have lost his shit.

'Steel Panther' Is A Great Name For A Malt Liquor, But Kinda Shitty For A Band. May We Suggest 'Androgyny Armada' or 'Eströgyn?' Better Yet: What About 'Amusing Anachronism?'

Anyone with information concerning the whereabouts of this priceless bit of Hollywood history is urged to contact the authorities immediately.  Seriously, you guys–Corey doesn’t have a whole lot left.

A Classic 1992 Corey Feldman performance:


BONUS: In a super team-up for the ages, Fel-Dog happened to be at the police station to report the theft of his magical jacket just as thuggish nobody Michael “MiLo” Lohan was being released following his domestic abuse arrest.


The Difference Between The Fel-Dog And MiLo? Look, Corey Tries, Okay? Let's Give Him That.

Won't You Please Help?