Tags
Corey Feldman, Corey Haim, Corey's jacket, Dream a Little Dream, Fel-Dog, Haimster, House of Blues, Michael Lohan, MiLo, Steel Panther, Super-Villain Team Up, Susie Sprague, The Two Coreys, Zen Scott Feldman
By Smaktakula
Corey, We Want To Believe You When You Tell Us You're Maintaining Your Sobriety. But Then You Go And Dress Like That.
Times have been tough for Corey Feldman. In 2009, Susie Sprague, the actor’s second wife, filed for divorce, seeking custody of their son, the ridiculously-named Zen Feldman. Last year he was rocked by the death of his long-time pal and bosom mate, Corey Haim. The Fel-Dog took another cruel blow recently when his beloved studded leather jacket was stolen from the House of Blues.
This is not just any jacket. In addition to any magical properties it might have garnered through long-term contact with Fel-Dogian excretions, it has great sentimental value to the actor, and can be seen in the poster of the smash-hit Dream A Little Dream.
The 'Citizen Kane' Of Its Day.
Fel-Dog, an accomplished musician himself, was at the venue to support his butt-rocking pals, Steel Panther. According to witnesses, a huge crowd rushed backstage, and when it dispersed, the jacket was gone as well. Fel-Dog is said to have lost his shit.
'Steel Panther' Is A Great Name For A Malt Liquor, But Kinda Shitty For A Band. May We Suggest 'Androgyny Armada' or 'Eströgyn?' Better Yet: What About 'Amusing Anachronism?'
Anyone with information concerning the whereabouts of this priceless bit of Hollywood history is urged to contact the authorities immediately. Seriously, you guys–Corey doesn’t have a whole lot left.
A Classic 1992 Corey Feldman performance:
BONUS: In a super team-up for the ages, Fel-Dog happened to be at the police station to report the theft of his magical jacket just as thuggish nobody Michael “MiLo” Lohan was being released following his domestic abuse arrest.
The Difference Between The Fel-Dog And MiLo? Look, Corey Tries, Okay? Let's Give Him That.
Won't You Please Help?
Promethean Times 
I look at the pic of Fel-Dog and MiLo and think, I’ll take “D-Listers Kathy Griffin Wouldn’t Even Book” for $1000 Alex.
That makes us laugh, The. But we think you’re giving MiLo too much credit to include him among “D-Listers Kathy Griffen Wouldn’t Even Book.” Entertainers like Dustin Diamond and Clay Aiken have EARNED their place among that sorry lot.
I have to stand up for our last remaining Corey here. He is an actor. Not a great actor, not even a consistently working actor, but he has a job. Michael Lohan is just an abusive, overbearing loser who “parents” through paparazzi interventions. He’s like Jon Voight, minus the career. Poor Corey. Just give him back his jacket, and maybe a cameo here or there.
We are in agreement vis-a-vis the Fel-Dog’s merits in comparison with MiLo. We also hope that Corey’s jacket will be returned, but if not, perhaps this incident will give him the strength to be The Last Corey.