Daily Archives: March 4, 2011

Unrepentant Gaddafi Holds Out Until The Last

04 Friday Mar 2011

Posted by in Crime, History, Politics

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By Smaktakula

For The Amount Of Relaxer In This Guy's Hair, He's Not All That Relaxed.

Colonel Muammar al-Gaddafi is turning heads around the globe.  Consigned to certain defeat just a week ago, the plucky tyrant is holding out, and in some places regaining ground lost to rebel forces.

The sun-baked despot is thought to be enjoying his return to the spotlight as Public Enemy #1, thumbing his nose at the great powers of the world.  The global community moved swiftly upon word of unrest in Libya, meeting the challenge head on with official condemnation and high-level hand wringing.  There’s even talk of asset freezing.  Clearly, Gaddafi’s days are numbered.

"Although The American People--A Liberty Loving People Born In A Rebellion Themselves--Cherish The Right Of Free Peoples To Decide Their Own Destinies, And Therefore Avoid Meddling In Disputes Far From Our Shores, As Free People, We Also Value Liberty And The Rights Of Individual Men, Which It Seems--Although It May At This Time Be Too Early To Make A Definitive Judgement--That In Libya, Those Liberties Are Not Being Respected. If This Is True--And Again, We Don't Have All The Facts Right Now--Then We Think It Would Be Really Cool Of Col. Gaddafi To Just Cut It Out, Okay?"

When the UN finally steps in to completely settle hostilities, as they have in places such as North Korea or Ivory Coast, Libya will once again be a peaceful oasis of camaraderie and freedom.  It’s a pretty safe bet, however, that until the Colonel goes, there’ll be a lot of bodies in the streets.

"I Will . . . How Do You Say In English? . . . See You In Hell."

Bonus: The Colonel’s Got His Own Theme Song!

Fred Phelps: Champion Of Civil Liberties

04 Friday Mar 2011

Posted by in News, Religion

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By Smaktakula

The WBC Believes That The Bible Is The Literal Word Of God. Except That Part About "Love Thy Neighbor As Thyself, For God Loves All." Nobody Knows How THAT Wackiness Got In There.

Fred Phelps and his odious Westboro Baptist Church were the recent victors in a 8-1 Supreme Court decision which upheld the church’s right to act like complete cocksuckers at the funerals of soldiers.  The WBC is concerned, as are many fundamentalist Christian and Islamic groups, that the United States has become entirely too tolerant of homosexuality.

Rather than pray for these wayward souls as do so many less militant groups, the WBC takes, what is to their thinking anyway, direct action.  To combat homosexuality, this group demonstrates at the funerals of soldiers (of whom, although no data exist to confirm this, it can be assumed were largely heterosexual), trumpeting the Good News that God is not only thrilled by the heartbreaking loss of life, but that moreover the Almighty “Hates Fags.”

As devoted proponents of the 1st Amendment, Promethean Times applauds the Supreme Court’s decision.  As difficult as it can sometimes be to accept, tolerance includes those things which offend us to our cores.  In this way, Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church have struck a victory for us all.

To Fred Phelps, champion of our civil liberties, we say:

WAY TO GO, HOMO!

"I WANT YOU To Go Fuck Yourself."