• Get To Know Promethean Times!
  • Magnificent Bastards
  • Douchebags Emeritus

Promethean Times

~ A Collection of Oddities Calculated to Amuse, Enlighten and Horrify.

Promethean Times

Daily Archives: March 21, 2011

Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong Champion Of Tolerance

21 Monday Mar 2011

Posted by Smaktakula in Culture, History, News

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

Alexandra Wallace, Andy Kaufman, anti-semitism, Archie Bunker, Asians, bigotry, Borat, contrived indignation, cowardice, Gene D. Block, George Jefferson, jealousy, lovable bigot, lynch mob, Manzanar, overreaction, racism, racism is funny!, Sacha Baron Cohen, satire, UCLA, wear a cup pussy, YouTube

By Smaktakula

"Believe Me, I Know I've Hurt People, But I've Learned My Lesson. Would I Do Something Like This Again? Not A Chinaman's Chance!"

When It’s Funny ‘Cause It’s Hateful.

In a stunning turn of events, comments which only days ago had been considered astoundingly offensive have now been revealed to be clever satire.  “I thought more people would get it,” says Alexandra Wallace of her clever satirical rant, “But they didn’t.  Not at first.”  The spunky UCLA student’s anti-racist message was misconstrued, leading viewers to believe that the provocative statements were Wallace’s views.  “No way,” says Wallace, “Racism is gay.”

It's A Jewish Guy Pretending To Be A Culturally-Backward And Casually-But-Brutally-Anti-Semetic Kazakh Who Exposes Bigotry By Acting Like A Bigot. Sacha Baron Cohen Is Not A Racist--He's Only Perpetuating Ignorant Stereotypes To Get A Laugh.

Wallace, who grew up on the hard streets of the suburbs, knew she wanted to devote her life to fighting racism even before she matriculated at UCLA.  Still, she isn’t sure where her quest will take her, as she doesn’t like to call herself a performance artist, nor does she see herself specifically as a comedian, “Although I think people like to laugh at themselves,” she says. Wallace considers herself a ‘Stealth Philosopher.’  “I like to blow people’s minds without them knowing it.”

Because Nothing Hurts Worse Than Words.

Wallace’s now-infamous YouTube performance was modeled on the loveable bigotry of progressive sitcom characters Archie Bunker and the ‘Even-Funnier-‘Cause-He’s-Black’ racism of George  Jefferson, and delivered in a delightfully self-aware homage to Andy Kaufman.  “I’m just like Borat!” she squeals.

Really? It's Just Because Of The Asian Thing That You're Mad At Alexandra? There Isn't Anything Else About Her That's Bothering You? Maybe Something You Think Is Just A Little Bit Unfair?

But things didn’t turn out as Wallace had planned.  It didn’t take long for Wallace’s video to go viral, but the altruistic student was surprised by the backlash which followed.  At worst, she expected her words mind garner some mild tut-tutting, as when Jesse Jacskson insulted Jews by calling New York Hymietown or when the Gaff-o-Matic Joe Biden marveled that a black presidential candidate could be both clean and articulate. “I guess I forgot to take a good look in the mirror this morning,” Wallace says.

For Reals. We Read This Through A Couple Times, And Apparently There Just Isn't Any Protection For Your Hurt Feelings. Yes, We'll Look Again.

Although she had expected some grousing from purists who didn’t approve of her radical method for delivering her message, Wallace could in no way have been prepared for the firestorm which followed.  Although Wallace didn’t say anything which isn’t being said right now in America’s comedy clubs, she failed to take into account how being a blond–and therefore presumably privileged–white girl only served as a degrading example to other girls who were not, and could never be, blond white girls.

"Seventy Years Ago, My Great-Grandfather--A Loyal American Citizen--Was Deprived Of His Property And His Rights When The US Government Imprisoned Him During WWII For The Crime Of Having Parents Born In Japan. Now That I've Been Forced To Hear These Terrible Comments, I Know Exactly The Horror He Experienced."

“With the edgy stuff we see on TV–there’s a laugh track to let us know when someone is only pretending to be racist.  But Ms. Wallace provided no such mechanism. We thought it was racism,” says UCLA Chancellor Gene D. Block.  “That’s why we hounded Ms. Wallace out of school and contributed to the lynch mob mentality.”  Shaking his head he whispers, “If only we’d gotten it a little sooner.  She could have made it easier.”  He went on to add that picking on Asians was an especially contentious issue, since with the exception of age-old cultural prejudices against blacks, whites and even other Asians, this sort of intolerance is not seen at all in Asia.

We Get It--Racism Hurts. Wow, We Haven't Seen You This Upset Since The Time You Thought You Saw Your Sister Talking To A Black Guy.

Wallace agrees.  “It’s my own fault.  I didn’t take into account that all Asians–or ‘Orientals,’ as they prefer to be called–lack a sense of humor.  Everyone knows that you need a soul to laugh.”  True to character, Wallace remained stonefaced, pretending confusion at the nervous titters which greeted her statement.

People Were Once Able To Use The Term 'Lovable Bigot' While Keeping A Straight Face.

But with Wallace’s biting diatribe revealed to be satire, the misunderstanding has been put to rest.  UCLA has asked Wallace to come back–but not as a student.  Starting in September, Wallace will teaching a seminar on sarcasm in the new media.  Wallace has put aside her own educational plans for the moment to pursue a career in front of the camera.  “I love it,” she says, “LA is awesome, but there’s kinda a lot of Mexicans.  They drive really gross cars and they don’t talk English.  And can I say that there are WAY too many homos here?”

"What Pisses Me Off Is That Smaktakura Depicts Me Talking Rike A Cartoon Asian. God Dammit! You See! He Doing It Right Now! Me So Angry!"

Hate can be funny.  But serious hate is no laughing matter.

UPDATE: Apparently, earlier reports claiming that Wallace’s unconscionable racial hate screed was satirical in nature have been revealed to be false.  Given that no sensible person could find anything remotely humorous in her comments, Wallace must be seen for the ugly hate-monger that she is.  Despite the many striking resemblances to even more incendiary but also more socially instructive characters like Borat, Archie Bunker and George Jefferson or the similarities between Wallace’s comments and those of edgy comedians like George Carlin or Lewis Black, the former UCLA student uses her words to hurt rather than heal. There are those who say that the young woman has suffered enough for what were essentially harmless comments, and who see something unseemly in the smug, contrived anger of this recent witch hunt.  Ridiculous.  We question whether Wallace’s complete ruination goes far enough.  We can only hope that Wallace develops a hideous and painful wasting disease.  Maybe then she’ll understand just how much words hurt.

It's Okay To Laugh; It's Just Hate For Pretend. Right?

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

LIKE Promethean Times on Facebook!

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

The Best Of Times

  • Belgians: The World's Most Evil People
  • People Actually Believe That? Ramtha And The Lizard-Beasts Of Mt. Rainier
  • The Pros And Cons Of Your Girlfriend's Gay Friend
  • Snowboarder's Empire Could Go Up In Smoke
  • Incest: On The Other Hand...
  • This Day In Alternate History: Yoko Ono Slain
  • The Silent Reckoning
  • Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong Champion Of Tolerance

Dumb Stuff We Say On Twitter:

  • Teachable Moments prometheantimes.com/2015/10/15/tea… http://t.co/QFzhCOBHaO 7 years ago
  • The Garden-Destroying Cross-Lot Food Fight prometheantimes.com/2015/10/01/the… http://t.co/lY6IVUWzYV 7 years ago
  • My Beef With That One Guy From ‘Fast Times At Ridgemont High’ prometheantimes.com/2015/09/23/my-… http://t.co/izgO4yJppn 7 years ago
  • Shelly The Parasitic Yoko of Pervert Alley prometheantimes.com/2015/08/17/she… http://t.co/0svsAHygLs 7 years ago
  • Welcome To Pervert Alley prometheantimes.com/2015/07/31/wel… http://t.co/tvFvovXjTX 7 years ago
Follow @prometheantimes

Recent Times

  • Teachable Moments
  • The Garden-Destroying Cross-Lot Food Fight
  • My Beef With That One Guy From ‘Fast Times At Ridgemont High’
  • Shelly The Parasitic Yoko of Pervert Alley
  • Welcome To Pervert Alley
  • A Profoundly Philosophical Question
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part III
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part II
  • My Friend Joey Park, Part I
  • Headlines: In Which No Puppies Were Harmed Or Abducted
  • Profiles in Loutishness
  • Bet Your Bottom Dollar That Tomorrow
  • Mea Culpa: 55 Cent
  • Goat Mayo
  • Headlines: More News We Don’t Understand
  • The Aging Gunslinger
  • Hungarian Fone Kard
  • Fresh Socks For Homeless Walter
  • I’m An Ass, And I’m Sorry
  • Headlines: I Was A Caveman’s Love-Puppet
  • Untruth & Consequences: Debriefing
  • To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before
  • My Missing Medal
  • Promethean Times Questions Existence Of Sri Lanka
  • Headlines: Shaking And Stirred

WORD.

Adolf Hitler Afghanistan Africa anti-semitism bad parents Barack Obama Baseball bigotry Bill Clinton California Canada cannabis Celebrity Death Watch childish sexual innuendo China cocaine comical despots dope douchebaggery drugs famous for nothing fat people foolish choices fun with stereotypes gay people Germany gold digger grass headlines helpful hints hemp homosexuality hypocrisy impoverished third-world hellhole Iran Islam jackassery Japan Kim Jong-il LiLo Lindsay Lohan Los Angeles Dodgers marijuana Mexico Muammar al-Gaddafi mullets muslims North Korea outright lies places that suck pot racism reefer religious intolerance skankery skanks Smaktakula's decades-old vendetta against the French Smaktakula's distrust of short people Smaktakula's hypocrisy can sometimes be astounding stupid people sweet sweet cheeba Tardsie's True-Ass Tales that trick never works the French this day in history treachery true meanings of holidays United Kingdom United States of America untalented stars weed Where Are They Now? Why am I so fat? Why am I so stupid? you got a real purty mouth

Promethean History

March 2011
M T W T F S S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031  
« Feb   Apr »

Search The Prometheosphere

Recent Comments

Vivek Golikeri on Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong…
Tim on People Actually Believe That?…
Anonymous on Commercials We Do Not Like: Me…
Dudley on Diff’rent Strokes Curse…
Anonymous on Commercials We Do Not Like: Me…
tomsimard on Sadly, Anne Heche Still L…
Smaktakula on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
David on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
Rackuzius on Brilliant, Dirty Weirdo Said T…
Smaktakula on Teachable Moments
Yoshihiko Motaro on Teachable Moments
Anonymous on Words Never To Use: N****…
Alex C on Putting The Italian Army To Go…
Usman Makhdoom on Alexandra Wallace: Ching-Chong…
Lary James on Untruth & Consequences: Do…

Tardsie D. Bagg

Smaktakula

Networked Blogs

NetworkedBlogs
Blog:
Promethean Times
Topics:
Satire, Irreverence, Snarkery
 
Follow my blog

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • Promethean Times
    • Join 459 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Promethean Times
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar