Amnesty International, bacon, bacon attack, Bacon is evil!, bad grandparents, bad kids, child abuse, Clinton Heights, Evil Ones, gingers, Granny Gitmo, Guantanamo Bay, Marilee Ann Kolynych, nanny state, parental rights, Pennsylvania, Problem Child, wakeboarding, waterboarding
Clinton Heights, Pennsylvania, has joined that growing list of places where parents are legally prohibited from disciplining their own children as they see fit. 63-year-old grandmother Marilee Ann Kolynych learned this the hard way when she sought to teach her grandson a lesson about gluttony.
Kolynych has apparently long prided herself in taking an active role in raising her grandchildren. So, one morning when her grandson proved too rapacious at breakfast, consuming a few extra slices of bacon, Kolynych took matters into her own hands. Kolynych chased the boy into the yard and forced him to the ground, while beating him about the arms and legs and spraying him full in the face with a garden hose.
Although the boy was not seriously harmed during the pre-lunch assault, and will certainly think twice in the future before snatching an extra piece of breakfast meat, Kolynych was arrested the following day. She is now free on bail.
Activists on both sides of this issue are studying Kolynych’s ordeal with great interest. Some agree with the prosecution that the Guantanamo Granny’s actions constitute abuse, and hope that Kolynych will receive a fitting punishment. However, many others feel that American parents are slowly losing the right to discipline their own children.
Promethean Times agrees with these beleaguered parents. Is it not enough that we can no longer use waterboarding techniques to extract recipes and childhood memories from the Evil Ones? Not content to stop there, the courts now see fit to strip this age-old right from parents.