04 Monday Jun 2012
Tags
1989, Chinese Democracy, June 4, June Fourth Incident, that trick never works, this day in history, Tiananmen Square
On which the Chinese government uses a very public forum to reiterate its traditionally dim view of free speech.
Confucius Say: Everyone Can See Guts Of Man Who Challenge Tank
02 Saturday Jun 2012
Tags
bravery, communists, criminals, fascism, Germany, Gypsies, Holocaust, homosexuals, Jehovah's Witnesses, Jews, muslims, Nazi Germany, religious intolerance, Roma, shut your mouth!, United States of America, Watchtower
Originally posted 10.04.11
Although They Don’t Celebrate Holidays, Every Day Is A Party For The Witnesses.
Admit it, you don’t know much about the Jehovah’s Witnesses other than that you fear them. For many, the sight of a well-dressed, smiling couple patrolling the neighborhood can instill the same fear that a gang member would. Unlike that gang member, whose interest in your house is only a possibility, the Witnesses are guaranteed to knock on your door, copy of The Watchtower in hand.
Unlike Jews Or Muslims, The Jehovah’s Witnesses Exist For You To Mock.
You may know some of the more peculiar details of the Witnesses’ faith–the failed doomsday predictions, their lack of cool holidays or Witnesses’ refusal to salute the flag. Moreover, they refuse blood transfusions and military service. Most peculiar of all, like Jews and Seventh Day Adventists, Witnesses choose to ruin their Saturday with church, rather than the accepted Western tradition of Church on Sunday.
Pull The Curtains And Turn Off The TV Unless You’ve Got Three Hours To Kill.
But most people don’t know the price the Witnesses have paid over the years for their anti-militaristic views. Their refusal to serve in World War I angered fascistic governments in Germany and the United States, resulting in persecution and imprisonment. During the Holocaust, Jehovah’s Witnesses paid with their lives, sent to the camps along with Gypsies, Jews, homosexuals, communists and common criminals. But unlike many of the others, whose offense to Nazi Germany was tied to some immutable condition, all the Witnesses had to do to save their own lives was to shut up about the Holocaust. Contrarians to the end, they refused. Their devotion was such that SS captains implored their lethal stooges to be as fanatical as the Jehovah’s Witnesses.
You Had No Fucking Idea, Did You?
Lastly, everyone must agree that given the Witnesses’ literal belief that only 144,000 souls will be admitted to heaven, it’s pretty generous of them to go door to door every week. With such a small number of the elect slated to make it into heaven, a Jehovah’s Witness puts his or her spot in jeopardy with every knock on the door.
The Witnesses Politely Told The Nazis To Enjoy Relations With Themselves.
01 Friday Jun 2012
Posted in Crime, Culture, Entertainment, News
Tags
AIDS, Batman, Charles Manson, Chicago Cubs, dope, first world problems, grass, headlines, hemp, Joe Biden, Los Angeles Lakers, marijuana, Octomom, pornography, reefer, San Diego Padres, sweet sweet cheeba, weed
Sadly, That Bogart Smaktakula Refused To Pass It.
Pa. mom charged with killing her toddler twins Adam and Eve ~ We’re not sure just why Adam had to bite it, but that Eve was one bad apple. *** Start with a winner, folks–that’s our motto!
Skier dies after falling 2,000 feet ~ That would more properly make him a sky-diver.
Biden says end to wars gives US new flexibility ~ Totally. We can go start a couple new wars if we want.
Koreans busted for stamina pills made from dead babies ~ They’re called ‘Soyrent Green.’
“My God, It Made From Peeper!”
And Your Next ‘American Idol’ Is … ~ The Ely, Nevada Wendy’s Employee of the Month for February, 2015.
10 Things to Never Put on Your Resume ~ Six of them are things you can do with your penis.
Is ‘old-person smell’ for real? ~ You don’t actually know any old people, do you?
New Evidence in Manson murders? ~ After seeing the new evidence, we’re starting to believe Manson might have been guilty after all.
$10K reward for bear killer ~ Ironically, no reward offered for killer bear.
“Then Ranger Smith Says, ‘Yogi, Please–You Don’t Have To Do This! I Have A Family!’ So I Said, ‘Shut The Fuck Up, Man, Or I’ll Eat Them, Too.'”
Jesus’ crucifixion date found? ~ It’s Memorial Day. And that’s why on July 4th, we celebrate with fireworks.
Baseball: Chicago Cubs snap 12-game losing streak, beat San Diego Padres ~ We don’t want to bring yet even more misery to the Windy City, but a victory against the Padres doesn’t actually count toward snapping a losing streak. Sorry!
Octomom’s First Porn Shoot Had WHAT? ~ Dignity? Class? A pleasing smell? We give up.
Lakers drop Thunder in double overtime ~ How embarrassing. They might have avoided this if only they’d used the little boy’s room before the big game.
The Horror of Being Hacked in Diablo 3 ~ Hmm. You’re sure that qualifies as a horror? We’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, and assume you’re unaware that right now in Swaziland, a little AIDS orphan is starving to death. But you’re right, being hacked does suck.
“It’s Kinda Like That Time My Sister Was Taken By The Rebel Army To Be Used As A…But I’m Sorry, Go On–Your Story Was Better.”
Weaponized kitty to dominate ~ It’s an adorabomination!
Is Philanthropy Print Journalism’s Last Hope? ~ You mean giving newspapers away for free? That’s still a little more than we want to pay.
In general, Shaq not suited for GM job ~ Apparently two of the big criteria were the ability to form a coherent sentence and to make three shots in a row from the line.
Woman on scooter injured in collision with semi in SLO ~Obviously we’re glad the woman survived the accident, but it doesn’t say much for the truck that it wasn’t able to kill a chick on a scooter.
Is Batman Coming Out of the Closet? ~ Do you mean the same Batman who dresses in spandex and prowls the filthy backstreets looking for rough action, accompanied at all times by a thirteen-year-old boy in a domino mask and green, fish-scale Speedos? We’d say he’s been out and proud for a while.
So Do You Understand How Something Can Be Gay And Super-Fucking Gay At The Same Time?
Promethean Times 