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By Smaktakula

The Chicago White Sox claimed Manny Ramirez on Monday off waivers from the Los Angeles Dodgers.

The White Sox hope that the rapidly aging abuser of female fertility hormones will be able to deliver enough with his bat to make the difference in their increasingly desperate battle with the Minnesota Twins for first place in the American League Central.

The moment is bittersweet for the Dodgers, bringing to close a sometimes-exciting, sometimes-frustrating era of dreadlocked douchebaggery.  Sadly for the Dodgers and their fans, unreliable space-waster George Sherrill still remains.

Ramirez Explains That Gobbling Human Choronic Gonadotropin Gave Him "Really Huge Knockers."